Not celebrating DD's 16th birthday, please help

[minnymoo98]

Hi all,

DD turns 16 tomorrow, but a few days ago DH and I found out we won't have enough money to go on a trip or have a party for her birthday, due to all our money being spent on repairs for the house. I told her this, and she insisted that it's fine and she understands, but I can tell she's sad about it.

When she was growing up, sixteenth birthdays were made to be such a big deal in movies she watched and conversations she had with her friends, so I understand where her disappointment is coming from, but we simply don't have the money.
Is there any way I could cheer her up about this?

Many thanks.

Ask her to give some thought as to what she would like to do for her 17th and if it's doable start saving for it now.

Can you really not do anything? A few friends round for pizza/movie/sleepover costs very little and would still be a nice celebration for her? My daughter's 16th was pretty much just that - though they camped in the garden and had a campfire etc as it was summer.

As you don't have access to a time machine, telling you you should have set money aside specifically for this months ago would be supremely unhelpful...

As I see it you have four options:

1)go into debt to fund a party or other celebration
2)do nothing
3)do something that doesn't need to cost much at all, like irregular's example above
4)agree to save up now to do a delayed celebration in a few months time, which she can say to friends is being delayed as she wants the weather to be better

A sleep over and takeaway Pizza won't cost too much and would, most likely be a great time for her. That's all I did with mine at 16

I think it's pretty poor that you've not even offered her a basic option like sleepover/movie night. Could do 'cocktails' with low or no alcohol and a pamper night etc

Hello, thanks for all the quick replies!

To Justmuddlingalong: I'll have a talk with her and ask her about her 17th birthday once she wakes up (it's still 7am in Canada and there's no school today so she's sleeping in ). Hopefully we'll be able to make her 17th more festive.

To irregularegular, mostdays, itsnowthewaitinggame, and StylishMummy: I've given that option (having a little birthday party or sleepover at home) a thought already, but the thing is we don't live very close to most of DD's friends (a lot of them live 30-40 mins away), and none of her friends' parents are willing to drive them that far (we found this out the hard way a few months ago when DD wanted to host a sleepover with her friends in the summertime). I wouldn't be able to drive her friends either, as my car is rather small and only has room for three of her friends, and DD told me that it would be unfair to only bring a couple of her friends and exclude the rest. So unfortunately we can't do anything at the house, due to our distance from many of her friends.

To mostdays (again): I like your last option, having a delayed celebration, I'll have a talk about that with her as well when she wakes up.

Is there no public transport thatvher friends can come, stay over and go home next day? I used to travel to friends as a teen as had ones that lived well over an hour away - we’d all stay over and go home next day. That was on public transport so I appreciate that you might not have it.
Can you not even do a takeaway as a family?