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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

My 15 Year old Son having sex

16 replies

babybell193 · 20/11/2018 22:44

I've recently found out my 15 year old son wants to have sex with his 15 year old girlfriend- I found this out through an overheard conversation with his friend. What do I do?

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 21/11/2018 12:16

Talk to him about how to be physical safe (prevent pregnancy and STI), how to be emotional safe and consent.

Santaispolishinghissleigh · 21/11/2018 12:20

Ask how he would cope if he was put on a sex offenders register?

SnuggyBuggy · 21/11/2018 12:20

Tell him that if he gets her pregnant he will have no say over the outcome, he will have to pay for a baby and a lot of women won't date someone with kids. He needs to take protection seriously.

TeenTimesTwo · 21/11/2018 14:24

Tell him you really don't want him to do this, that the impacts of an accidental pregnancy would be far too high for him and his GF when they are in their GCSE year. So even if risks are tiny, impact is massive. Tell him that the law believes 15 is too young to consent, and not to be in such a rush to grow up.

Then tell him if they must have sex then for heavens sake use condoms and the girl to have a contraceptive implant. Also talk about consent, and how no means no/stop even if there was previously a yes.

newtothisriver · 21/11/2018 14:25

Well he is 15, how much have you covered already?

newtothisriver · 21/11/2018 14:28

Ask how he would cope if he was put on a sex offenders register?

Hmm
Santaispolishinghissleigh · 21/11/2018 14:32

He would be breaking the law. Her dps could push for prosecution. Long shot but not worth the risk. I have teen ds's and they have been told no way until 16.
I know Mother - is the grumpy reply.
No girls upstairs until 16 - not being dragged into any bother!

newtothisriver · 21/11/2018 14:35

santa

He won't be put on the sex offenders register for having sez at 15, with a 15 yo.

wintersontheway · 21/11/2018 14:35

Hi, you can talk to him , the importance of protection etc etc and just try and have that open conversation with him. At the end of the day you can't lock him in his room for a year... maybe just be open and say to him you'd like him and his gf to go to the sexual health clinic and get themselves covered. Good luck x

Santaispolishinghissleigh · 21/11/2018 14:38

My older ds's friend (15)was charged for asking 15 yo girls to send pics.
He is on one -
No chances over here.

TrickyTime · 21/11/2018 14:39

All you can do is talk abiut contraception and being responsible. Hopefully it's just talk to his friend.

newtothisriver · 21/11/2018 14:41

santa

So what?

This is about two 15yo's having sex. You brought up the sex offenders register. He will not get put on that. Regardless of what happened with your DC's friends uncles cats brother and photos.

SparklingUnicorn · 21/11/2018 14:45

Santa

If he asked for pics that’s a whole different crime - I think it’s called eliciting an obscene performance by a child or something similar. You have to be 18 to consent to pornographic photos anyways.

If there’s no force or coercion and the GF isn’t vulnerable I can’t see a fifteen year old boy having sex with his 15 year old girlfriend being a matter that the police will have any interest in Hmm

TeenTimesTwo · 21/11/2018 14:46

Though the pictures stuff is important. No pictures he would be ashamed to share with you or her parents.

TallAndUnapologetic · 23/11/2018 18:01

Make sure he's clear on the basics and hope he listens. Better for them to have their first experience of it in a context of trust with someone their own age.

IssuesWithTheTree · 25/11/2018 09:04

I would lay out that as the male in this situation he has absolutely no say in whether or not the girl keeps a baby from any resulting pregnancy.

A girl in year 10 at my son's school gave birth, the father was in year 9. She was over the moon about the pregnancy, the boy, not so much.

I would also point out the number of unplanned pregnancies that result from adults having sex, never mind teenagers.

But as relationships tend to end for teens, I would encourage him to think about how long they will last as a couple.

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