I am looking for a bit of help regarding phone use and talking about it in the open with DS16. To give a bit of background to this, my other DS is 18, has always been extremely mature and responsible and was allowed full control of his phone from the age of 14. He earned this through maturity and showing self discipline.
As they say, my second son is entirely a different kettle of fish! Up until age 16, we kept his phone every night and gave it to him after school. Now that he has reached 16 DH has said that he needs to learn to set limits for himself and be responsible for his actions and therefore should be allowed have it.
Ever since school has started (and DS16 has found a girlfriend) he is constantly on the phone. However, to his credit, he plays lots of sport, goes to the gym and if asked will join in family meals and events without it.
However my issue is the following: if I make a small suggestion to try doing a new activity for an hour or less away from the phone, or if I ask him if he spends time on social media, he tells me to F* off. I find this a totally dispproportionate response and it has happened a few too many times to be excused by mood, tiredness, etc. He doesn’t usually speak to me like that.
Is he hiding something? Am I just being too nosy? I feel I need to chat to him to explain that this type of response is unacceptable and I don’t understand why he is being so defensive. What should I do?