Teenage drugs.

[ngibbons1]

I've just found out a few days ago that my 15 year old son has taken cocaine and ecsatcy tablets. Someone had phoned the school to say they were worried. They talked at all his friends and most confirmed this. I've been into school and they have a arranged for a counsellor to talk to him. The counsellor feels it was more experimenting and that he can he helped.he said he hasn't done it for about 4 weeks and it was just at the weekends to help him. He suffers from low moods. I don't know where to go from here. I'm devastated and so scared x

Oh op, I can imagine how you feel. I don't have any experience of this, and hope I never do, but I realise that it could happen to any of us.

What I wanted to say though, is that my friend is training to be a counsellor and she says that they've been told that it's very common for teenagers to experiment and the worse thing you can do is freak out over it.

I think you need to try and put aside your feelings on it for now and focus on getting help for his low moods. Hopefully, this may be seen as a cry for help and hopefully he will get that help.

Thank you He's spoken to someone about his low moods and is currently on the waiting list. The drug counsellor has told me to make another gp appointment to speed up the waiting list and demand that he's treated as priority. He's not a bad lad . He's actually an amazing son so kind and loving which is making it even harder to deal with. I just don't see how we can trust him again. My husband is at the mad stage saying he's no son of mine and thst if he does it again hell report him to the police.

Yes, I can imagine it will be hard to trust him. I don't think your DH is helping but again, I get it, and I'm sure I and/or my DH would react the same!

Good luck with getting him some help. Friends of mine have kids with problems and it seems to be really really hard to get any professional help for them, children's mental health services seem to be non existent almost. It's a sad state of affairs.

I haven't got any more advice, but I'm here if you need to talk....

Thsnks so much for your kind words. Yeah it is hard for kids with mental health issues. One piece of advise he was given is to write on a sticky note things that have made him laugh then to 're read them. When your feeling so low you take drugs reading a sticky note isn't the best help. X

Ha! No, but I guess it's like doing CBT on yourself. I also get low moods. Not enough to go on anti depressants but enough that I've spent a fair amount of mental energy trying to change how I think. I've found keeping a gratitude journal helpful, which is similar in a way to the post-it notes. When I start sliding down into a negative way of thinking, I can re-read it to remind me of how great my life actually is.
Probably the most important thing for me though is getting enough sleep and exercise.
It's all about becoming self-aware enough to recognise that you're sliding down, I find.

I would have thought though that the cocaine/ecstasy leads to a massive downer, so although fun at the time, is not helping in the long run? Maybe approach it from that angle??

Ecstacy is one thimg, but how the fuck is he getting hold of coke? Does he have access to a lot of money? Rich friends?

We've spotted his money supply. He d8d have a big amount of money from birthdays etc that he's saved up. The coke
was only a few times but that's a few times too many. Your right about the down after he's taken simething. The counsellor said he will cover things like this in the weekly meetings. I just need advise on how to move forward. He's obviously no longer allowed out after school but how long do we keep to that and what do i do the first time he does go back out

ecstacy can be terrible for your mental health, even though physically its not particularly unsafe. Ive done it a few times, and the seratonin dysregulation and depletion afterwards has made me feel pretty much suicidal. It has affected me for weeks after

This might be different for people who arent susceptible though, as i do know more people who just feel rough for 2 or 3 days then back to normal.

Coke, you can do long term damage and it can be highly addictive. Its probably one of the most physically risky drugs you can do, and can give yourself heart problems and overdose is not uncommon.
Im not even against drugs. Ive dabbled in them a lot in my time, but your boy needs to wise up. Its stupid to get involved. Cant he just smoke a joint like most wayward teens. Wtf is he getting involved in the heavy stuff?

Not really gateway drugs are they? Your DS has gone straight to the hard stuff

He's obviously no longer allowed out after school but how long do we keep to that and what do i do the first time he does go back out

I'm not sure, for me it would depend on how he was in himself, so, is he remorseful? Do you think he'd do it again? Has the counselling helped?

The first time he's allowed back out, I would limit the time he's allowed out to a couple of hours maybe, and build it up over time if he proves he can be trusted. I'd probably want to call him while he was out too.

It's difficult, like I said, it's counter productive to go overboard, and you need to be able to trust him again, but how??

i would consider moving to a different area.

Once hes involved in this sort of crowd, its not about teaching him its wrong. It means that his mates are doing it

They can get drugs at school they don't have to go anywhere dodgy (so my DSs inform me) so don't think that keeping him grounded after school will cut off any supply if he is determined to do it again.

No answers I'm afraid this is what our kids are up against. Hopefully your school is taking it seriously. Our 6th form doesn't care and it's an Ofsted outstanding one.

And yes yes to the PP who said his mates are doing it. Likely a mate supplied them in the first place!