Sleepovers

[Jazzymm098]

AIBU to insist on speaking to a parent before my DD 16 goes to a sleepover ? Should I trust her to be where she says she's going to be? They plan to go to cinema and then walk back to friend's house around 9:30pm (about a mile outside town centre) And then go back to town the next day.
But in reality I don't know what their plans are.. they could stay out in town until 2am for all I'll know about it.
Would you let her go?

I don't know the parents or the actual address.

That’s a tough one OP. My eldest is a couple of years younger so I’m not sure what I’d do.

Hopefully this will bump for you

Is it a friend she’s talked about before?
My DSS is 15 nearly 16... realistically I don’t know the friends parents... but I know the friends... I’d be happy as long as I knew who the kid was. I let my DSS sleep out as long as I know the friend.. if I don’t then I’d ask for the parents number to check it’s ok

she's told me she's going to town with friend from school and back to her house. I have met her friend seems like a nice girl but I don't know her parents.
I sort of trust her to be sensible, but I also know she's not always 100% truthful about where she's been or who with. Just little things like she'll tell me she's nearly home at her curfew time when in reality she's still half an hour away. And they are so naive!! Think they are invincible. But then I watch too much crime drama!!
She probably is going to have an innocent sleepover with the friend with friend's parents in the house, but what if she's got other plans I've got no way of checking unless I insist on friends mums number which will not go down well with dd who will be mortified that I want to talk to friends mum and obviously don't trust dd

I’d want the parents number. I’m happy with an embarrassed safe child. Yes I’m probably Ott... I do not care. It’s a one off thing though, once you’ve spoken to the parents, if she wants to stay again you’re happy.

If it were my (15-year-old) DD I would insist on knowing the exact address, and probably a text once there to confirm she was OK, but not on speaking to a parent. However, in my DD's case it would in practice be likely to be a friend she had known for a long time, and DD hasn't given me any reason to doubt her honesty.

OP, from what you say, it's not simply that you are worried about your DD sleeping over at the house of a friend whose parents you don't know - you are worried that your DD might have some different plan altogether that she is keeping from you. On that basis, I think insisting on speaking to a parent (as well as finding out the exact address) is a good idea.

You say you know your DD is not always 100% truthful about where she's been or who with. I wouldn't be too worried about a little exaggeration about how close to home she is if she's on her way, but running late. However, an outright lie about who she's been with would ring more alarm bells.

Well I dropped her off at her friends, helped her with her bag, spoke to the mum. They went to town, came back , ate pizza, went to sleep.
I really need to take a chill pill.