So, I'll try to be as detailed as possible, but not ramble!
My dd (13) has always struggled with confidence and is a worrier, especially since starting secondary school. On about 6 occasions since she started year 7 she has been sick at school, which we can only put down to worry and anxiety. I have spoken to the school about it recently and they have advised all her teachers to go easy on her (one of her main worries is speaking up in class or working in a group with people she doesnt know). She has struggled to make friends but has a few in her circle.
Everyday I check her phone messages and instagram use (she knows I do this, isnt happy about it but is aware!) and I've noticed recently that many of her friends (most of whom arent at her secondary school but are old primary friends) are talking in private messages to her about self harming, and my dd has mentioned on a couple of occasions that she is doing it too :( I'm not totally sure she is as, I've never seen any evidence of this, we've had brief discussions about others doing it and shes been adament she wouldnt ever, and also she has always been afraid of pain/blood etc (wont even have a plaster on!)
She has also declared that she is having a relationship with one of these girls, who seems to be the main one who is constantly self harming or talking about it, and asked for a sleepover with her, we chatted about this and we decided that as they are in a relationship, it may not be appropriate to have a sleepover (i wouldnt allow it with a boyfriend) and although this relaionship is probably just a phase (she hasn't shown any other signs previously of being attracted to girls) I wanted to show her that I took it seriously, in the same way if it was a boy.
What can I do? My gut wants to forbid her from speaking to these girls ever again, and take her away from their ideas, as I feel she is so easily led and always wants to 'fit in' but obviously that isnt the correct way and will just lead to her doing it behind my back and hating me! Should I take her to the doctors? Speak to school about it? I feel completely out of my depth with this :(