Is it normal for teenage girls to have endless friendship problems, or is it just mine?!

[sayyatiddaknini]

DD14 has regular problems with friends ignoring her, going cold on her. This has happened with different members of 3 groups over the last year. As far as she knows she's done nothing offensive. She's quiet and a bit sensitive but a nice girl. Is this normal?

Shes finding it hard to concentrate at school, forgetting homework etc which is unlike her and it's keeping me awake at night (currently 2.30am !).

IME it's totally normal. Early teens are non stop chopping and changing friends. It calms down once GCSEs and boyfriends kick in.

It seems to be very regular for girls with contant drama. Think the secret is to build confidence in herself so she can actually stand back and see what others are up too. Thats not easy as they are all learning. Its important to do stuff she likes outside school so she has one place where she feels safe eg dancing / basketball whatever.
Local youth groups can be a help too as she might meet like minded girls who are gentle with onwe another. My dd made all her best friends in the world at a church youth group. We didn't go to that church. She just went on Sat nights but it became her safe place. As a result she wasn't as dependent on girls in school which of course meant she had lots of friends as didn't engage in drama at all. But the amount of drama going on among some of the girls was unreal.

Thanks for the replies. It's awful when they go to school in a state of dread. She does have outside school friends and does stuff outside school. Her confidence is at an all time low now and interestingly her weakest subject is drama as she is so withdrawn! She used to shine and love performing.

Totally normal, especially as she’s a sensitive girl it will affect her more, her outside school friends will become really important in the next couple of years and will give her confidence to confront the situation at school. I was your daughter!

How are you now Aroundtheworldandback? I worry about her long term MH as she's had this on and off for the whole of secondary school.

Sorry to say that my dd is still like this and she's 18! She doesn't have a single close girl friend now although she has a few boy friends. I am not sure why tbh. She seems OK to me.

My dd struggled to find "her people" until 6th form and it's not unusual.

There seems to be so much insecurity at this age and everyone has some challenge.

On the leaving day at the end of Yr11 the girls all hugged each other saying "I've always loved you"...err nope, for years you were horrible to me.

All you can do encourage her to have faith in who she is and help her ride the upsets.Doing something outside school does help.
My son made friends with a boy through a hobby but he knows if they were in school they would not be friends as my son would be perceived as the nerd as he is very academic.

14 is probadly peak timing for these issues so hopefully she it will start to get better..tough though and I would not go back to those years.

Boys have the same issues but we don't tend to hear about it as much.

sayyatiddaknini do you mean how did I turn out? I’m still sensitive but I think that’s a personality trait and not necessarily down to my time at school, but the question I guess is did it take my confidence away, and the answer is it might have a little bit what helped me is having someone in a different friendship group at school to talk to, and also of course a social
life outside.

Aroundtheworldandback I'm pleased you turned out well Sorry if that came out a bit insensitively.

Yesterday was an exciting day - DD walked out of school. She lurches between sensitive mouse and Greek diva. Hopefully the latter will prevail.

lifebegins50 yes DS who is older didn't have a great time at 14.

Thanks for the posts everyone. Tomorrow is another day ...