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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Ex doesn’t buy dd anything

5 replies

Slimerecipehell · 04/11/2018 22:41

My 15yr old decided to move in with her dad last year for various reasons and he has since applied for all her child benefit/tax credits etc. When I see her she has no clothes, no winter coat, ripped school tights etc but won’t ask her dad for anything. She saves her Birthday and Christmas money to buy what she needs and it breaks my heart. I get her bits when she’s with me but I am struggling financially. If he was a ‘normal’ human being I would tell him she needs basic stuff but he will turn it round to her that I have been interfering. Surely if he had her money he should be providing her basics for her? I’m not expecting him to buy make-up or anything excessive but just what she needs. She currently has literally one pair of jeans yet won’t ask him for anything because ‘he has no money’. How is that fair on her and how do I broach it in a sensible non-confrontational way? (He has history of not accepting ‘criticism’ or being confronted)

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/11/2018 16:12

Poor DD. Is there any way she could move back with you?

Modestandatinybitsexy · 05/11/2018 18:31

He is given child benefit to look after her and he's not, especially if she feels bad even thinking about asking him for something. That's no way to grow up. Can you talk to someone close to him so he might hear sense from them?

BarbarianMum · 06/11/2018 14:21

Are you paying him child maintenance? Is he struggling financially? I guess child benefit etc covers food/bills/rent too.

Rainbowqueeen · 07/11/2018 01:26

Can you make her school aware? They might be able to give her some support in dealing with it.

They also might report it as a safeguarding/neglect issue.

I’m sorry you and your DD are in this sitation

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/11/2018 16:36

Are you able to but her clothes OP? If she can’t ask him for clothes and tights how is she managing for food and tampons?

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