Angry son

[ShowerOfShite]

My DS is 16 and I'm struggling to cope ATM.
His temper is awful, he's very aggressive and verbally abusive to me and DD14.
I'm a lone parent with minimum contact with his father.
He is on the waiting list for counselling but I'm at my wits end after another outburst where he's called me foul names again.
Any advice please?

Are there any other underlying factors?
Did you previously have a good relationship, i.e. did he confide in you and did you laugh together?
Patience is a much underrated skill. Try to remain calm, he will come back to you.
Continue to tell him you love him but make it clear what you can’t tolerate (try to keep the list short )

Sorry I don’t know how helpful that was! My ds has PDA so has essentially been a teenager since he was born. He is also now a teenager so I really do know how hard it is. However, there are so many factors that can effect anyone’s behaviour it’s very difficult to give advice beyond the basic. 🍷💐

No real underlying reasons. He can be lovely when it suits him and we get on great when he chooses. He just turns and goes 0-60 instantly.

Then it will pass. Just be there for him. He literally cannot see what he is doing to you but he still needs you and is still really just a little boy.

Thanks.
That's the way I'm reacting so far. The threats to hit us are escalating so I'm worried he's going to lash out and I don't know where that would leave us.

I think you need to be absolutely clear that if he hits you, you will call the police and ask for them to deal with it. And then you need to act on it if he does do this.

Might it be worth talking to your GP about it?

Is he prepared to talk about how he behaves when he's calmer?

We saw the GP recently and he referred us to the counselling service. He's on their waiting list.
He refuses to talk when he calms down, he just blames me and gets defensive and then blows up again.
I did call the police and couple of years ago when he pushed me around.
I'm prepared to call them if I need too. I don't want him to be arrested (the police have said that's the next stage) but I'm not containing his behaviour.