My son is 18 and I love him with all my heart.
Background
As a baby he was very easy.
At the start of school life he struggled conforming to school routine. This continued throughout his school life. However he continued being good at home and had good friends.
At 13 he started really getting in to Xbox, up till 12 he didn't even have a DS, but around 12 we succumbed and he got an Xbox.
He spent more and more time in his room and got aggressive playing. His relationship with his Dad also started suffering and it too became quite aggressive, full on.
Then my relationship with his Dad broke down, nothing to do with my son, and we separated when he was 14.
At 15 I struggled to get him to school, he was up gaming. I had help from various organisations and did things like control his time on the Xbox etc. At one point I was unplugging tv's, routers and everything to stop him having access to gaming on the days he refused to go to school.
He had counselling and lots and lots of support.
The last year if school he home studied. He then went to college for 1 year and his attendance was just about acceptable. He finished college July 17.
Overall, he has improved bit by bit.
Last year he met his 16yr old girlfriend and she fell pregnant. Both myself and her parents supported them in their decision to keep the baby and I now have a beautiful grandaughter. They all live with me.
Over the last year he has had 3 jobs and none of them he has held down for more than 3 weeks as he basically says he us too tired or I'll and doesn't go in hence loses the job.
He decided to not look for work till the baby was 3 months old so he could support his girlfriend in the first few months. Fair enough.
That time has passed and with lots if coaxing he agreed to look for work. Although it's me which does the looking and applications, he just goes to the interview.
He got a good job, but once again after the first week the normal pattern emerged , 1 say off sick, 2 the following week, then another the third week. So along with the fact he didn't always call in, they let him go.
1 month on and he has made no attempt to get a job. I've refused to do it for him this time.
He sits at home all day mostly gaming, he does little to help look after his daughter.
He has some money as he has an inheritance but he us dwindling this, around 800 a month on Xbox stuff.
What do I do?
I want him to take responsibility for his loved and daughter, he has enough inheritance that he has a large deposit for a house. He talks of wanting his own place with his family. I've taken him to show homes and showed him what he good get it he has a job to top it up with a small mortgage. So I've tried the motivation, visioning approach.
All in all he hasn't worked properly since college and has lost or walked away from 3 jobs.
How do I get him to take on his responsibilities, shape his future and get a job and stick to it !
I am now considering the cruel to be kind option of telling him He can't stay here unless he has a job and stick at it, give him 2 months to do this. Or he has to move out and rent a place on their own. I'm happy for them to stay living with me as long as he is working. Fyi he can afford to rent a place.
Should I do this?
Any other idea's
I love him so much but things need to change
Thanks