Anyone else think people are so much stricter when it comes to teens drinking now

[doggylover2]

So I've noticed recently that some people are so much stricter about letting their teens drink. To think I had a small glass of wine at Christmas dinner from around the same age as the french (and it wasn't diluted). Then when I hit 11 or 12 I'd be allowed the rare shandy or weak mixer (like half a shot of vodka in a pint glass and the entire glass filled with 7up or sprite), from 14 I'd be allowed beer wine or cider and then from 15 my parents would allow me the odd Gin and tonic at times like Christmas and easter. But these days I've heard parents say they wouldn't allow their 17 year old any more than a glass of wine and lemonade. People these days are too strict. From what I've mentioned it sounds like im a alcoholic when really I hit impressive GCSE and A level results, got a University degree and landed a job Im proud of.
Am I the only one shocked by how things have changed. And I'm not the only one who's also been raised like this multiple of my friends who are also successful now were raised the same way

Statistics would suggest the exact opposite with a huge increase in children in emergency departments and mental health services because of alcohol related problems.
The parties I’ve collected teenagers from are anything but moderate drinking by the majority.

My children assure me that there is no problem with lack of alcohol (and weed) among the young; in theatrical circles, add cocaine.

My parents otoh were teetotallers in the 1970s and the only alcohol I ever tasted before I moved from home was Holy Communion and the occasional cake flavouring.

The thing is, being allowed some alcohol by my parents did not stop me binge drinking in my teens, and I understand recent research has confirmed it does not lead to more moderate drinking - so that, coupled with the damage alcohol can do to developing brains, suggests parents should err on the side of being strict with it.

IME there is a larger number of cool parents than ever before who allow, or Ignore, children to drink as they rarely say no to them.

We know more facts now than ever before on the damage alcohol does to growing children's brains and how vulnerable it leaves them, this should encourage responsible drinking, which means not condoning children drinking and teaching them to be careful once they get near a more appropriate drinking age.

I can not think of one benefit giving a child of only 11 a vodka and coke, no matter how dilute.

@BrokenWing see there's parents who would say no to a weak vodka and soda when they would easily hand over a alcopop
Which also has vodka (prob more than what I was given a half shot would be exaggerating

I'm not going to encourage my kids to drink. I drank loads as a teen and to be honest I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd been myself instead of using it as a social lubricant because I was shy and awkward. Yeah I had a laugh but I would have done anyway without all the dangerous situations I ended up in and the stupid shit I did. If they want to drink they will whatever I do but I'm not going to act like alcohol is a necessity in life that they need to get used to because that just isn't the case.

You make it sound like it's a necessity to drink, like being given more responsibility or being allowed to control their own money/decisions, they also need to be weaned onto alcohol.

They don't.

I grew up with a family with an alcoholic dad and a mum who only had a glass of wine at Christmas and I can't say they ever encouraged me to try some! I've turned out fine without being allowed to poison my liver at a crucial and early age. Because we have to remember alcohol is a drug, and an addictive and problematic one at that - why wouldn't you be strict about your developing teens drinking it?

Vodka at 11? Wow. Yes call me strict because I’d never be ok with that.

Guidelines (in Scotland anyway) are now that children should have an alcohol free childhood. I myself grew up with sips of wine, watered down half glasses etc, and while I never really binged as a teen I did end up with a bit of a problem as a fully grown adult which I have only recently felt able to address. My husband offers our kids sips of drinks and it drives me nuts. Children do not need to drink alcohol. You can still teach them a sensible approach to alcohol without them drinking it under age.

see there's parents who would say no to a weak vodka and soda when they would easily hand over a alcopop

There is little difference, playing at drinking alcohol with an 11 year by giving them an alcoholic drink of their own is unnecessary and frankly ridiculous parenting.

I too would not encourage a youngster to drink, where is the benefit?

Girls lose their inhibitions under the effects of alcohol so there is a greater risk of unprotected sex, for a start.

I also think I heard that people who started drinking below the age of 18 runn a greater risk of becoming alcoholics. Maybe it's true or maybe it isn't, but why take the risk?

"Girls lose their inhibitions under the effects of alcohol so there is a greater risk of unprotected sex, for a start"

Really?! Only girls lose their inhibitions when drinking?! Do boys not?! Are only girls responsible for providing protection during sex?! What a ridiculous sexist attitude!!

Back to the original topic. Children will get their hands on alcohol regardless of whether or not their parents want them to. Children will binge drink regardless of what their parents do. I've seen first hand just how many parents say my kid would never do that, and then find them in A&E absolutely bladdered.

The best thing is to teach your children to be responsible around it. I'm not sure that means giving it to them at a young age. They probably learn best by example, so going out and getting shit faced every weekend yourself probably isn't the best idea. They can see parents participating and drinking responsibly without having to join in themselves.

I can't think of a single good reason to add a shot of vodka to an 11yo's soft drink.

It's not going to teach moderation. It does normalise drinking though.

The French do not habitually give wine to their young children and I certainly have never met anyone (French or English) that would allow an 11 year old vodka. TBH I think the only real difference between now and when I was young in the 80s is that you now need ID to buy a drink. We used to get away with looking 18.

Yes, I agree. Weed seems to have a different attitude towards it with young adults than there was in my day. It's becoming much more socially acceptable.

Children don't need alcohol
Nobody needs alcohol
I find it very weird in the uk how parents on a day out with their kids will just habitually drink alcohol. It's very odd how people normalise it so much

Guidelines for the UK are that children shouldn't be given any alcohol by parents before the age of 15. And apparently the mother's drinking has the most impact on a teens drinking patterns. The whole French thing has been debunked. Giving children diluted wine from young ages does nothing to stop binge drinking in adolescents. Those that grow up seeing their parents drink very little and forbid from drinking alcohol until they're older teens are less likely to binge drink.

Perhaps you should reflect on why you are 'shocked' parents are stricter than yours were. Why do you feel the need to defend and justify their actions?

Firstly we have huge problems with alcohol in the 30’s/40’s bracket, is this due to those parents being more relaxed about it?
Secondly I have a teenager, luckily he’s not fussed by alcohol but a large majority of his classmates are. Some of them have been drinking and smoking weed most days since 13

The French and Spanish have huge problems with liver disease, related to the normalisation of alcohol as an everyday part of life. Yes, it may be more socially acceptable than stumbling down the rule singing Jerusalem before weeing in somebody's hedge on a Match day, but it isn't actually very good for you.

Really?! Only girls lose their inhibitions when drinking?! Do boys not?! Are only girls responsible for providing protection during sex?! What a ridiculous sexist attitude!!

It is ridiculous to pretend that there is no difference in the consequences of unprotected sex for boys and girls.

A fourteen-year-old girl getting pregnant is a much more serious problem than an eighteen-year-old getting pregnant. What are the risks for boys?

By the way I'm not saying I'd give my 11 year old spirits but I'm not afraid to let my 15 year old have a glass of wine (so long as it's not cheap rank shit like buckfast) with a special meal. It's better than the alternate which is drinking to black out I mean teens will get drink it's almost (notice I said almost) a fact of life that teens will get drink. We can't stop this but we can soften the blow a tiny bit. My teen doesn't drink on street corners and has actually said she'd rather have a small glass of something nice at home than a entire bottle of cheap vodka On a street corner

Giving drink at home to children is not going to stop them drinking to black out if out with their friends or "soften the blow" (unless your plan is to get them used to alcohol and/or hangovers while they are still children 🤔). If anything it will, for some children, normalise it for them, give them a taste for it and a form of permission meaning they are less likely to say no when offered. Why take the risks.

Parents (of the uncool variety 😎) are not "more strict" now, if anything they are less strict in general but they know alcohol, smoking etc are harmful to children for several reasons, want the best for them and parenting has changed accordingly to not encourage. Children do not need alcohol.

I'd say your parents attitude to plying their young child with drink was pretty unusual back when you were a child. I mean, I don't know how old you are, but I was certainly not brought up like that and nor were my dc, and I've met a lot of people over a lot of years who I suspect would think it odd that parents were giving 11 yr olds vodka, and giving even younger children wine.

However, I don't think there is any change in attitude to that, that is 'generational'. I suspect you could find parents now that would be happy to do as your parents did, and I know for a fact that there were the majority of parents 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago that didn't do that.

I'm not afraid to let my 15 year old have a glass of wine (so long as it's not cheap rank shit like buckfast) with a special meal. It's better than the alternate which is drinking to black out

How is that “the alternative?” There’s no logic in thinking a drink with mum cancels out a drink with mates. It has nothing to do with it!

it sounds like im a alcoholic when really I hit impressive GCSE and A level results, got a University degree and landed a job Im proud of. - these things are not mutually exclusive.
What are the risks for boys? - having an unwanted child.