Teenage depression

[sheldylou]

I have an amazing beautiful sensitive 17 year old son. He is struggling at the moment with self confidence. I have had CAMHS crisis support and college are getting him counselling. I am at a loss as to how to help him. He is open and honest and I feel just sitting holding his hand isn't enough. He will stay in his room and I feel like it's a prison cell for him. We encourage him to go out and we involve him in our plans constantly. Has anyone come through this and offer any words of advise?

I can't offer advice but I'm going through exactly same thing with my 17 year old daughter

Thank you for replying. I hope things improve for you x

Do you have private medical insurance? If so, make use of it an don't rely on CAMHS. See if you can get him interested in mindfulness. See if he will talk to the GP about how things like diet contribute to mental wellbeing. Is there a way of him seeing a psychiatrist, in case there is a diagnosis of something other than depression which would need different treatment? Would he be interested in mindfulness colouring - if so, would he do it with you - it can be a good way of relaxing the mind and having some company, without feeling like that company expects much from you. Maybe also suggest relaxation "tapes" (i.e. something on an app) that could help him quieten his brain so he can sleep)

Does he accept that he has depression, or does he not want to accept it? If he doesn't, I can recommend an excellent book.

Keep the lines of communication open, but without pressure. Text messages are a good way of communicating with teens - but send mainly messages that don't NEED a response.

I have a 19 year old having terrible moods swings, I’m usually always on the receiving end, can’t win whatever I do, she’s had councilling as she struggles thinking everyone will leave her as she felt abandoned by a group of friends several years ago. One minute she says I’m all she has and next wants me to go away. This is putting pressure on me and my marriage as the constant lack of not knowing what she’ll be like one day to the next is taking it’s toll on me and her dad. I can’t see any end. She currently refuses to go back to the GP.

I also have a 17 yr old son who suffers from depression. He also has anxiety and is receiving CBT via the telephone from CAHMS.
He’s doing an apprenticeship and has a girlfriend and a handful of friends locally and is not interested in anything - just goes to work, comes home, cooks something to eat, watches a movie in his room, smokes weed, goes to bed, rinse, repeat.
We suggested he take some holiday, save up and go somewhere nice but he’s not interested. Says he can’t afford it (although if he wasn’t spending so much money on weed and cigarettes he would be able to). Doesn’t want to do anything and no interest in anything.
I find it baffling - I wanted to do so much at his age and would save up to go on adventures.
I am just hoping it’s a brain development thing and he will eventually mature and grown out of it. His elder brother is entirely different.

I have two daughters aged 14 and 20 and before I write this, it is important to note that both had an event in their lives that caused a lot of these issues. The eldest had acute anxiety as a teen and spent several years at CAMHS on both counselling and then CBT. The youngest is currently on medication for depression and is with CAMHS on CBT. For a glimmer of hope to those out there, I can tell you that the eldest has come on leaps and bounds since leaving school. She packed in her A levels after 1 year and reluctantly went off to college to do a course that she didn't enjoy. However, she did eventually get an apprenticeship and with the combination of the CBT (medication) and working she has come through the other side. She still gets anxiety and there are days when it is all too much. BUT, the situation is still a lot better than it was.

The 14 yr old is proving to be a real challenge, crushingly so in fact. This week she has been in to school twice and today I have been bombarded with texts begging to come home. I wont lie, it can really wear you down. I lose my temper, even when I know it is pointless but then I find my self just listening and not judging or giving suggestions. Just listening. I am hoping that we can work through this but I know there several years of this to go. All I can say is try to stay strong

Thanks 50something - it’s good to know there’s a light and things can improve and that listening and being non judgmental is the way to go. I did hear from a GP it’s to do with the elasticity of the brain and that it’s structural and there’s little that can be done til they grow up a bit.