Can I hear your stories of troubled teens who 'came out the other side?'

[LouisaRossini]

I have posted a few posts recently about my nightmare son who's 13
vaping, smoking cannabis and skipping school.

We (DH and me) are trying our very best to deal with it and get the support he needs via school and GP, but are not having much luck.

I don't want to go on and bore you with the ins and outs, but all the drama of our life is leaving me and his dad struggling with our health (Dad has high blood pressure due to stress and I now have to take medication to for stress and anxiety).

I really need to hear some positive stories from either parents or teens themselves who were a nightmare and now turned into lovely human beings.

I need some hope! Happy endings only please, I'm so depressed!

DD1 and 2 were what I can only describe as Grade A nightmares. Particularly DD1. They’ve both come out the other side alright, there’s mental health issues for both girls and that’s honestly the most difficult thing for them now (they both manage them to the best of their abilities but obviously have down days). Both work full time and I would say are reasonably happy. It can feel like a nightmare at the time and if I’m honest I kind of wish I’d reached out for ongoing help rather than a solution. I’d have put my two into therapy earlier and honestly I think that would have helped us.

ashvivienne - thanks for sharing your story. I am glad your girls are much better now than they were. Don't have any regrets about putting them into therapy earlier - what matters is they seem to be doing pretty well now.

I was a horrible teen, I mean really bad, probably far worse than your son. Always in trouble... you name it... I did it.

I am now in my 30's and a fully functioning adult. I hadn't my kids young, but completely pulled myself together. Their father and I are still together, we own our own home and have decent jobs. I also get on pretty well with my parents now too, despite my mums issues (a whole other story, which contributed to my teenage awfulness).

So there's always hope .

My brother. He was an absolute nightmare! Smoking, smoking weed, running away, lying, stealing, broke someone’s nose, told a teacher to fuck off, got kicked out of school for being high, got fired from the first 4 or 5 jobs he had for turning up late, drunk or not at all. Got arrested.

No one’s quite sure what changed but he met his now wife who has a sensible head on her and he found a job he liked. Got into sales which satisfies his need to live on the edge. Got into some slightly risky sports, likewise.

Today he’s happily married, very successful in his career, gorgeous house, calm, fun, loads of friends, tons of hobbies, still the same need for attention and boundless energy but puts both to good use. He’s a great brother, son, husband and friend. Still winds me up as he always will and we’re chalk and cheese but he’s also brilliant company.

Don't ever feel alone, there are many parents out these struggling with nightmare teens, unfortunately teens can be a very very testing time, as parents we all want the best for our children and unfortunately teens know it all and can only learn from mistakes.

As hard as it is, you just have to be there for them and try your best to guide them, I'm sure your son will come out the other side.

My sister was a nightmare teen, unbelievably rude and obnoxious to everyone, involved in inappropriate relationships, had a pregnancy scare and at one point wouldn't come home and moved in with a friend.

She's now a doctor. I really hope that helps 

I can only tell you my own story. I was a complete nightmare, just name it I did it and drove my parents to similar levels of stress I am sorry to say.

I peaked at 15, and from 18 snapped out of what felt like a tornado of hormones and destructive behaviour.

Keep telling her you love her and always will, keep the door open and listening. Look after yourselves, this is very important.

I came out and got a very good job and then went on from strength to strength making it through the legal profession, travelling (sensibly) and now have a happy and loving marriage and beautiful dc. It is her hormones not her. Remember this is normal, natural even, no matter the agony it is causing you, she is pushing her boundaries and breaking out of her childhood. Keep her as safe as you can, and if you can walk the dogs, or do some kind of hobby you will keep her grounded and communicating.

She will burst out the other side. It will be hell until then keep your sense of humour and remember the wedding speeches you have to choose from at some point. We laugh about the hellish years now, easy to say now..

I was a vile teenager from about the age of 14 and did everything you wouldn’t want your child to do.

I am now in my 50s with a masters degree and a good career - I am very respectable (some might say boring). I do remember having a realisation when I was about 19 or 20 that I was reaching the point of no return and that I had to make a choice about which way I wanted my life to go.