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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

16 year old son gone off the rails

1 reply

Maggiemcfly · 12/10/2018 06:41

My 16 year old son is on cannabis and stealing from family and has a criminal record of fraud coming to him and moved out. He changed in year 9 at Secondary School after a girl he fell for dumped him. He started hanging around with a few known bad lads, he started smoking and having a real attitude, misbehaving at school, caught stealing in Tesco trying to fit in. He wouldn’t do anything I asked to the point he smashed up his new bedroom when I put my foot down. After a few times of this we decided he was best to live with his dad which at the time he was okay with but this was 5 hours away.
He settled in school well had nice friends for 8 months but then miss behaving at school again. He was taking cannabis and staying out til all hours. He was stealing £20 here and there from his dad and his wife weekly even the cleaner. They got a safe and he broke into that too. They laid every law down you could think of bit he still broke them. In the end he stole his step mums work bank card which is part of the government and spent £250 on PS4.
In the end he moved back to me and it started okay. He then stole from us, carried on with heavy cannabis use. He hardly had any money though from us. He wouldn’t go to college/work or training it was a nightmare. All he wanted was to go back as he hated it here. He managed to get through school until 2 months before his GCSE and got expelled at his dads but managed to do some with a private tutor. He got 3 GCSEs in the end.
He ended up going back to his dads which lasted 2 weeks as he wouldn’t obey by any rules and now he has left and moved in to his drug using friends. He won’t come home he won’t go back to his dads as his his dad has had enough but will take him back if he obeys by the rules which he won’t. He was stealing again and now he has used another card for fraud and he will be getting a caution for one and no doubt prosecuted for the other. It’s such a mess and we are all devastated. We all tried and gave him chance after chance to help him, offering counselling, support you name it but he wouldn’t go. What can we do we have lost our 16 year old to a life of crime and drugs.

OP posts:
MaruMaru · 12/10/2018 07:04

I feel for you.... Lots of MNetters love to blame the parents for the child's behaviour but sometimes kids with good parents go off the rails and there is little you can do about it- especially where drugs are involved.
I think you have to maintain contact and let him know that if he wishes to change his lifestyle then you will be there to help him.

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