Teens pocket money

[filka]

I've been living abroad for about 20 years and am about to return permanently with a 12yo boy & 14yo girl. Abroad we just pay for everything, and it's a cash society. But I know it's not like that in the UK.

How much pocket money should I expect to give them, and in what form? I've read messages about teens having bank accounts, that's new to me, which banks offer them? Presumably they are all non-fee, no overdraft arrangements just to get a debit card...?

I've seen mention of about £40 per month, what would you expect to be included (or perhaps more importantly, excluded) from that? e.g. mobile phone bills?

Thanks

My girls get £40 paid into the banks per month. We pay for their mobiles, majority of clothes, school lunches and pretty much all essentials. My youngest who is 14 always has money left over at the end of the month however my 15year old is a whole different kettle of fish 😔

This is a 'how long is a piece of string?' question, asked regularly on MN.
Mine get £1 per month, per year of age. So my 17 yr old gets £17 per month. You will get some posters who can't believe anyone can survive on that. You will get posters who are giving their dc £100 cash, + paying for their phone + youngster gets money from Dad or Grandparents separately.
You get some posters who expect their dc to manage their money and buy clothes, toiletries etc with it, and you'll get others who only give them spending money for 'treats'.

Yes, there are lots of bank accounts with debit only cards (so can't go overdrawn). They can use them to get cash out or to pay in shops / bus / train / and to do internet banking. Most banks have them. Quite a few will link to interest bearing accounts.

Give them what you can afford to part with.

Fiver a week cash and we pay for her phone bill which is £12 a month (she's 10)

I think we pay about £100/month for everything...so we gave them a small proportion of this to start with - £20/month - see how they cope with it and then bit by bit we have passed over responsibility to them. They have control over their clothing budget now, we still control the mobile phone budget - no advantage to them or us to change this. We give them a notional £40 month for socialising - dd socialises a lot so this is a case of her having to decide what is important. Ds does not socialise enough but we do not hand the money over unless he has arranged something with friends because we don't want him being incentivised into being less sociable and we don't think it's a good idea for him to have a large amount of money in his bank account - that has caused problems with other kids we know - the money is paid for living expenses and should be saved and used - they have to learn to spend as well as save.

Start small and increase according to need.

I pay mobile phone bills, bus fares to school, lunch money, clothes and toiletries and then just give them a tenner if they want to go out with friends. Obviously there are limits to how many £10 notes they can have per month - it depends on what I can afford that month.

Thanks for everyone's views, I appreciate it's a how long is a piece of string kind of question, but I've been so long out of the UK that I'm well out of touch on this kind of thing.

Abroad I give my 12yo son about £5 per week plus keep his phone topped up. But we pay for everything for our 14yo daughter. Last night I got hit with a request for 3 birthday parties and a pop concert in the next 3 weeks, that's at least £250 to buy presents, tickets for all.

DD2 age 14 gets £20 a week and has to pay for all her socials with her friends out of this plus makeup, sounds a lot but it's cheaper for us this way as she was constantly asking for money.

They can get a teen card account from 11, I transfer £50 a month to mine (or did until university for eldest). Most parents I know do this (amount varies, as does what they are supposed to fund from it).

I think, as pps have indicated, you have to get a feel for how much they are used to spending. So, on these threads you often get posters saying 'don't be so tight, they need 5x as much as that - even just going for a coffee costs £3, more if they stay and have a 2nd'. Now, In my world, if you want a hot drink when out and about, you take a flask. 'Going for a coffee' would be something that I, now, as a comfortable off adult would do very occasionally as a way of meeting with a friend, not a 3 x a week thing I do on the way home from work. If, however, your lifestyle s such that your dc have grown up stopping off in a cafe or coffee shop 3x a week, and that is 'normal' to them, then they are going to need a lot more money, than other youngsters who might be used to spending their leisure time playing football or doing things with Scouts / Guides / BB or GB. Then if you've taken them to the pictures once a week, rather than as a birthday treat, their expectation (or need for ???) money is going to be much higher than someone who is more used to going round to a mate's house and watching a DVD or something on the TV. Ditto if they've been used to having a comic or magazine every week, or not, etc, etc, etc,. People who have a lifestyle at one end of the extreme often struggle to imagine the lifestyle at the other end of the spectrum of different lifestyles.

I think BackforGood makes an important point - it’s about expectations and also about the culture amongst their friends.

I also have a 14 year old girl and a 12 year old boy. The 14 year old Ioves clothes and make up and has lots of friends. Her friends are all very wealthy (she has a bursary at an independent school).

We can only really afford £40 a month plus she has a paper round which brings in nearly £30 a month. She has to cover clothes, make up and socialising with that. I do have to help her with birthday presents sometimes, when she has several in the same month.

She also pays for a joint Spotify account out of that but I cover phone, train pass and school lunches . Birthday and Christmas money goes a long way to help with clothes too - fortunately she has a June birthday so she has extra money at two key times of the year! To be honest I did also have to give her extra money over the summer as she tended to go into town with friends which involved extra spending.

My son has just got his £40 allowance (less Spotify and Xbox Live so £34 in cash) and he’s been to the shop for sweets far too many times! 😬 He’s not too fussed about buying lots of clothes and he doesn’t socialise with friends beyond Xbox or going to the Park! He does like branded clothes though so I’m encouraging him to save up for things he wants - he’s after a new coat for example.

If he was my first he wouldn’t even have an allowance at this point but there was no way I could be seen to be ‘unfair’! They both have bank cards and online banking access which is helping them keep track.

It's been very helpful to see monetary values discussed here, so thanks to all.

To me "expectations and also about the culture amongst their friends" = peer pressure, and I'm kinda hoping there will be less in the UK than abroad, or it will be more manageable / affordable. Wishful thinking, I suspect.

Abroad the peer pressure manifested itself in a Louis Vuitton handbag (actually instead of a new iPhone after the 8 Plus was stolen in Primark...) which shows her sense of priority. But I got a shock a few weeks later when out of idle curiosity I got a valuation for my car from webuyanycardotcom - less than the handbag

ds(14) get £100 / month into his own accessible savings account (he has a separate savings account I control). He also has a debit account with £0 overdraft with debit card, apple paypay and online banking. His debit card is also on his xbox and iTunes accounts. He moves money from his savings account to debit account when he needs it.

With this £100 he pays for his school lunches (approx. £40-£45/month if he buys sensibly/drinks water), and giff gaff monthly phone (£10 / month if he watches data use). If he wants treats at lunch or uses too much data it comes out of his remaining money.

This leaves him around £50 / month for going out with friends, xbox etc.

Over school holidays he still gets the same money, but doesn't have school lunches to buy so has a bit more cash for going out with friends.

My DDs and friends DC are all still little but DHs god daughter (14) gets £100 a month into a current account and parents pay for phone/clothes/toilitries/school lunches etc. My DH has always had a savings account for her and tends to give her cash when he sees her. She’s a lovely girl and her parents can easily afford this but my goodness I have visions of when my DDs are this age transferring £5/600 per month for socialising ! She’s an only child but where does this end if you have a few DC? It’s a minefield OP!

12 year old gets £10 a month onto his debit card. I pay £10 a month for his phone, for school lunches, clothes, and activities. He spends his pocket money on computer games and treats when out. He isn't interested in expensive clothing or buying things.

Nearly 15 year old DS doesn't get set pocket money, instead I just give him money when he asks. Probably works out about £30- 50 a month? He's not a shopper so only asks for money for food when out with friends or cinema tickets/train fare etc

I think most of his friends get given £50 a month