Teenage son!!!!

[donzt]

Hi, I'm new to this site please be nice lol I'm stressed enough.
I'm a 35 year onky single parent 2 boys 11 and 13.
And omg, the 13 yr old ....I have no words, he is angry, thinks it's his house can do what he pleases, spits ( makes ne sick) all over house, has an e cig, calls me and his brother awful names.
But on the other side when he in a good mood he is that amazing,polite, funny child we brought him up to be.
I'm just at a loss of how to help him, he has walked out the house again as i asked him to take his crisp packet downstairs!! I've spok4n to his dad but he's as much use as a chocolate fire guard.
Please tell me there is hope xxx

How long since you split up and how's his relationship with his dad? 13 is a difficult age for any boy, but he may be resentful that he doesn't have his father there for him as much as he'd like. I'd say there is hope. Can you talk to him about what sets off his anger?

he's as much use as a chocolate fire guard.

That was funny.

Perhaps he needs to spend more time with his father, at least he’d be out of your hair. Exercise might help the mood swings.

Exercise is a brilliant idea, especially if you can get him into something with a strong (emotionally and morally) male role model such as a football coach, martial arts instructor, boxing gym, or even a personal trainer if funds allow.

At this age, unfortunately, they are more likely to listen to them than there mum. Does he have any outside activities or any interests he could do with friends?

He sees his dad a couple of times a week but doesn't have a good relationship unfortunately. (His dad is stuck in stone age times)
I speak to ds on a daily basis over whats bugging him, how can i help, what does he need etc, at the time he listens we get to conclusions. Next day it's like it never happened.
He hates been shouted at (don't we all) but as i say to him i can only talk so long and if he doesn't show us any respect I will shout.
Please don't think im this raging shrek monster that just shouts and balls I've tried talking, been his friend, taking things off him, ignoring it.

I do think the exercise could be a brilliant idea though, we have a boxing club up the road I'm going to go and see about.
Thank you all for listening, keep the help coming lol and if anyone finds a solution to the teen years you're a genius and please share
Xxxx

but as i say to him i can only talk so long and if he doesn't show us any respect I will shout.

I don't think you're a raging monster, and I understand the temptation, but you have to really try to avoid this. Kids model the behavior you show them. You acting out teaches them that acting out is okay.