Teenager lacking any motivation

[AmabelleOnabike]

My 16 year old DD used to be so enthusiastic and energetic. Everything she did she applied herself well and aimed high. Sometime halfway through the last school year (just before first state exams) she switched off her drive it seems. Now the only thing she gets excited about is her phone (social media I guess), her friends and food! She doesn't care about school or results, she isn't bothered about her part time job (which she loved), has given up her dance and drama group (her passion for 10 years previously) and spends all her free time lounging about her room in her pyjamas eating chocolate (i was shocked to discover her bin full of empty sweet wrappers this morning).

She doesn't want to engage with the family (We're too annoying). She won't walk the dog or do any form of exercise (she refused to join the gym with the rest of the family). She is putting on weight because of the constant eating plus no exercise but won't try to change any of it.

Is there anything I can do to help get her motivated? Or do I accept this is part of growing up?

This could be normal or it could be something else as it sounds quite a a change. Is there a chance you could have a heart to heart, perhaps try and spend the day together with no phones doing something fun and give her the opportunity to open up. Have you spoken to school to ask if anything has changed or upset her?

I don't think that anythi g in particular has triggered this change. I spend a lot of time with her, in the car usually, but am also available to her a fair amount I'll pop into her room and sit on the bed for a chat (she doesn't usually want to) or will ask her to walk the dog with me (I practically have to carry her so unenthusiastic is the response).

Maybe it is just normal. It's so disappointing to see such potential disappear though. I feel she is coasting through life a bit now instead of actively moving.

It could be her way with dealing with stress, year 11 is very hard and schools do pile up on that’s your whole future down to those exams and maybe she thinks not bothering is better then failure..

Sounds pretty 16 year old to me. She'll almost certainly be fine. Her brain is actively rewiring itself, puberty being what it is, and she'll be casting about for a new personality to settle into. All of the social stuff is very much feeding into it, she's learning how to human from her (no doubt similarly bemused!) peers.

I'd say well over half the teenagers I've ever known (including when I was that age) went through the same sort of thing. Back in our day you had to go out and congregate with other confused teens, these days you can do it in the comfort of your own room. Not sure if that's an improvement, but it's how it is.