Need help

[Worriedmum99]

I looked at my 14 year old son’s phone and have seen he was looking at a gay chat site. I have absolutely no problem with him being gay, but am worried about him accessing this sort of site. It seems he has given his contact details to a couple of people and has added them to snapchat and has subsequently received a couple is snapchats with dick pics.

I spoke to him about the safety aspect and explained it could be anybody he is talking to. He said he was sorry, would block them and not do it again.

Looked at his phone tonight and he has changed the name of the dick pic person on snapchat and us still messaging him and has even told him I will be away this weekend. I spoke to him again and he said he was stupid, it wouldn’t happen again, but clearly I can’t trust him in this.

I’m so bloody worried and have no idea how to handle it. He doesn’t want me to tell his dad. I’ve taken his phone and iPad.

Any advice would really be welcome

You should speak to a support group OP
www.fflag.org.uk/

As your son's not out, it will be tricky to approach this.

They should be able to help you x

Keep talking. Without judgement.

I would take away his phone iPad at night for a set amount of time and talk through the dangers.

You need to approach this gently as it sounds like he is exploring his sexuality. Just not in a safe way.

I wouldn't take his ipad. That will just isolate him. Block the sites you don't want him using instead...and remain open with him. Teens close off and hide stuff if they think you're going to cut them off from their online friends.

You can however place a child safe block on your devices.

I think the important thing is for him to be allowed freedom to explore his sexuality but in safe environment. Find a youth group locally where he can meet other gay and bisexual kids.

Not perverts on the internet.

Thank you for the support. You’re spot on with him being allowed to explore his sexuality and I’ll try and find a way to work with him to do this in a safe environment.

He is adamant he isn’t gay and maybe he is, maybe he isn’t, I just want him to be safe and happy. One of his siblings is gay so he is in a very supportive environment to come out, but I’m not going to push this, he needs to do it in his own time.

Could you message the person yourself, explain that DS is underage and if they make contact again, you’ll report them? You

I'd let his school know - this puts him at risk of CSE and they will be well placed to monitor and may link it up with any other concerns. I'd suggest keeping an eye on his phone and looking after phone/iPad overnight.