How can I help DS 'bulk up' safely?

[CornflakeMum]

DS (16) has become rather obsessed with his body image over the last year or so. He's always been tall and skinny (similar ectomorph build to DH) and I suspect has been teased about it in the past. He hates looking at old photos of himself on holiday etc.

He now goes to the school gym about 5 days a week to lift weights. He has had some professional advice and I've seen his programme and while it's not what I'd want to do, I don't think it's dangerous (seems balanced, alternate days, progression etc)

He and his gym mates talk a lot about bulking out/cutting/ ripping etc and are all a bit obsessed about what they eat. DS has started asking for a lot more protein in his meals, buys boxes of protein bars (eats one after every workout) and snacks constantly on meat and eggs.
I don't believe he's actually hungry, but talks about the need to 'calorie overload' to reach his weight goals. He admitted that sometimes he only stops eating when he begins to feel a bit sick .

He's currently 62kg and 6ft 1 so this gives him a BMI of18.1, placing the BMI-for-age at the 12th percentile for boys.
So he could definitely add some weight and stay within a healthy weight range, but I'm encouraging him to set an upper target (70-75 kg perhaps?)
Any ideas/experience as to how I can help him to do it safely? I am bit worried that all the 'advice' he's getting from his friends may not be that good!

My ds 17 boxes, trains at the gym 7 days.
Porridge with full fat milk for breakfast, chicken +brown rice for lunch, pasta +cheese mid afternoon, more chicken +veg +carbs for tea after the gym about 8.
No pop, no alcohol, no energy drinks. Lots of water! No crisps /crap!!

Thanks April! Do you get any meal plan ideas from magazines or anything? He's already cut out all the crap and has announced he's no longer eating any processed meats (we didn't eat a lot, but there was the occasional sausage and bacon!)
Problem is, he keeps saying what he DOESN'T want to eat anymore, but isn't giving me any ideas what to replace it with!

sounds like a great thing for him to take an interest in (there could be worse) takes a lot of dedication.

am not 100% sure on the best foods to bulk up but my husband is a gym buff as i call him if he's put on a few pounds (not his target weight hes set himself) he will cut carbs more protein and veg. So am assuming lots of protein veg with a good amount of carbs to help put that weight on him.

Maybe buy him some protien powder that helps bulk up?

He is on the boxing fb page which gives him ideas!! He cooks all but his evening meal himself (boast!), also protein ie couple of scrambled eggs after the gym /a run are ideal! Beware the full fat milk made him very spotty at the start - now raids my face packs!!

The simple answer is anything natural - nothing constructed...

So, don't get into protein powders / supplements / all that industry - where their aim is to sell to you, not to be the perfect solution for your body... If he is occasionally only stopping when he is feeling sick then he is possibly on the early stages of a dysfunctional relationship with food...

Be aware that what you are doing now for him is about learning a healthy balance for the future - there are a lot of issues around gyms and body image - which is counter-productive, some people would be healthier sitting on the sofa eating a takeaway and watching tv than how they treat their body in the pursuit of fitness...

See if you can spend time with him understanding body shapes and respecting how you are born / who you are and becoming the best version of that - rather than trying to be like someone who may genetically be different!

This is no difference at a mental health level than girls looking at catwalk models as their inspiration - there is a healthy balance with the gym, and there are a number of concerns in what you say, already, and there are plenty of stories out there about how it can get worse...

If your child has a body that doesn't naturally bulk out - there will be a temptation at some point into steroid and other 'quick fixes' - be very careful...

I should just clarify that I originally trained as a PE teacher / am a sports coach / have worked in my professional life with supplement companies... I am not an alarmist - but Aprilislonggone's son's approach sounds much healthier... and there can definitely be a difference between boxing gyms where it is about health and fitness (and being more professional) and the average gym where the danger is that it can all be about body image

akkakk - yes, I'm aware that some of the things I posted sounded like alarm bells - they were to me too, which is why I want to help him do it healthily. I worked in the food industry and also trained as an exercise instructor a long time ago, so I do know the basics, but of course my son doesn't want to listen to me!
We've already had the conversations about being the 'best version of you' and his response was partly to get annoyed with DH & I for giving his ectomorph genes!
I agree it could trip over into an eating disorder if not carefully managed which is why I want to stay close and try to be part of the solution!

My PT used the analogy that if cave men didn't eat it, then nor should you.

Whole foods only, no alcohol, bread, crisps etc.

Also, keep a wide eye on the food groups - protein, protein, protein is just a myth. The community is obsessed with consumed as much as possible, however, it is found that carbs aid in recovery and muscle gain more than any other food group.

Can he consult a body building youtuber or someone with nutritional qualification for cheap advice?

CornflakeMum
Fab to hear that - sorry if I came over strong, obviously we don’t see all the story here... it is great to see you care so much...

@Cornflake - it's wonderful that he's interested in eating healthy and staying fit, but I always become a bit concerned when it's about body image. I would encourage him to consider what his body can do in its present state.

I'd also think about his role models and perhaps show him an alternative body image - perhaps of fit men who have a more slender body shape; so runners, climbers, mountaineers, and freerunners (/parkour).

If he is interested in fitness, then perhaps he'd be interested in watching something like a youtube video of Alex Honnold or the incredible Ueli Steck (RIP) or if you've got Netflix, then the Barkley Marathons. These are great videos of extremely fit men who use their bodies to achieve amazing things - and none of them are very bulky.

I know it seems scary when it's not 'normal'

The best way,in my opinion and I train more than your son,is to follow macros.

Do you know if he has a nutrition plan or if he's just winging it?

It's useful to know what supplements he's taking aswell, I use creatine and bcaas.

It's a learning curve and it sounds like he's new to it but it's important that he learns what works for his body because everyone's different.

That’s the thing - He’s too young to be taking supplements etc. I want him to be able to achieve a reasonable goal with natural food, not pills and shakes. No properly qualified PT or nutritionist will take him on as he’s under 18 and they’re not insured. Meanwhile there are lots of unscrupulous characters online who are happy to take a large fee in advance and promise the earth.
Like any teenage boy the problem is that he thinks he knows best about everything and if I push too hard in any direction it will become the one he’s least likely to follow.

He does need quite a bit of protein to repair the muscles fibres he's breaking while lifting.

Eggs, meat etc all sounds normal as long as he's not living off chicken and rice like some do.

I eat clean, more protein than normal tho.

I could have a look at the nutrition advice he's been given if you want?

Eating until he feels sick is a bit worrying, he's not purging tho is he?

At 16 I would make sure he is getting good advice from qualified people and not from guys at the gym, guys at the gym can push things that I wouldn't want my 16 year old son getting into.

I doubt the supplements will cause any harm, and I do nt think you need a nutritionist, just sit down with him and work out some healthy meals. If he’s involved he’s more likely to come up with ideas. I’d urge you to be positive and encouraging or he’ll resent you.

Ds is feeling the same way. I don't like the over focus on body image - it feels mentally unhealthy. Ds is skinny and he is still growing up first and then he will broaden out - well that's the way my brother went, he just needs to wait. I'm uncomfortable with the obsession the gyms can give so i have refused to fund gym membership. Ds has bought himself protein powder which thankfully tasted so rank he didn't want anymore. I want ds to be comfortable with the body he has....fit and healthy.

Dd has a book called Nutrition for the Dancer by Zerlina Mastin. Now whilst your ds isnt a dancer male dancers are expected to be strong and athletic. The book shows how to caluclate your daily calorie and nutrient requirements for male and females according to the amount and type of excercise and it gives sample meal plans including advice on snacks, injury recovery etc. A high protein diet is required but alongside complex carbs etc. There are recipies for home made cereal bars and it advocates snacks such as nuts, greek yoghurt, lean protein and low sugar.

Quantum, maybe if your son went to a gym he’d get the body he wants and some peace of mind. To assume gym goers will end up obsessed or on steroids is very negative.

Ask your GP to refer him to a paediatric Dietitian they will point him towards high protein, healthy fats and good quality carbs as well as maintaining the nutrition he needs to grow and develop well

This www.bda.uk.com/foodfacts/sport_exercise might help as a starting point

I'm an ectomorph and train hard. I've recently started eating for body type and counting macros. Ectos need high carb, fairly high protein, low fat and low sugar. At his age he can eat a LOT and if he's trying to bulk he needs calorie surplus. Get him to look into ecto eating and macros, it's interesting and helpful.

Northernparent68 maybe so but ds can tend on the obsessive anyway - so allow me to make my own mind up about what I think is good for my son and steer him in a healthier direction. He looks brilliant as he is, he stands tall, good posture and looks very cool and I think appreciating your own body for what it is, is my goal for him, he has nothing to feel bad about. Exercise is an easy thing to become addicted to - have seen it too many times and exercise in moderation like everything is fine.

Cave Men drank alcohol
Fermentation was invented before agriculture