How can I make him do his homework?

10 replies

Pigeonpresent · 02/10/2018 22:03

Really looking for some fresh ideas do 14yo ds - at the moment I’m checking what he has to do, setting regular check in times by which he should reach a certain point, no phone, no gadgets until it’s all done. He drags it out all night, comes up and downstairs about stupid things and barely gets anything done. I’ve backed off and let him get in trouble (it just carried on and on) I’ve bribed him, took things away, I’ve stood over him and watched him work and he’ll get it done but I don’t have time to do that every night nor is it good for him. I will help if he is stuck, I try to be interested in the subject. No underlying SEN. Please help me get out of this pointless cycle!

OP posts:

WhackyBirds · 02/10/2018 22:07

What does he want to do when he leaves school? That’s less than 100 weeks if he isn’t staying on for A levels. Get him interested in the end goal, so he knows that he needs whatever subjects to qualify, train, do well at the career he’s picked.

Sundance2741 · 02/10/2018 22:17

Reward him for doing it? Build up over a week, month or whatever to something he really wants. Or money for each homework done to be given at the weekend?

Or set a time in which it must be done (realistic and not too long ). I'm the type that procratinates until time has almost run out. Strict time limits would make me get on with it. Having all evening would make me faff.

Sundance2741 · 02/10/2018 22:17

Procrastinates

sonlypuppyfat · 02/10/2018 22:18

Really I wouldn't get involved, let him get in trouble at school. He'll soon get the idea

Sundance2741 · 02/10/2018 22:20

Read "Smart but Scattered". It's about executive functioning skills. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. He may find organisation hard for example. The book gives practical strategies.

EndeavourVoyage · 02/10/2018 22:20

In answer to your question, you can’t. He is 14 and will do it if he wants to. He will get it done as soon as he has had a few detentions (or whatever the consequences at school.) Be his mum not his teacher and you may find he is more willing to get in with planning his future himself.

Sundance2741 · 02/10/2018 22:39

OP has said getting into trouble didn't work.

MsJolly · 02/10/2018 22:46

What does he like doing-what would motivate him? For my DS it's his Xbox-so doing his homework allows him to build up time credit to use the Xbox at the weekend-we don't allow it in the week. And any negative points received in school for things like not doing homework etc results in time docked off.

Original poster

Pigeonpresent · 02/10/2018 23:22

Thanks sundance just ordered this. I think I need to give myself permission to back off and know that’s not the same as failing him so thanks endeavour
The trouble is nothing motivates him. He plays football to a high standard for a well known club so he focuses on that as his end goal. He thinks school is pointless, however much I point out the skills he’ll need before and after football or if plan A doesn’t work out. I can’t bribe him or take his gadgets as it makes no difference.

OP posts:

MyCatHasStaff · 02/10/2018 23:28

Get the football club involved. They are obliged to encourage him in his school work - if the school contact them and say he is falling behind it jeopardises his place. I know it seems harsh, but the chances of football working out for him are minimal, even if he's really exceptionally good there's still luck involved in making any kind of career out of it.

Flip