14 year old wants to live with grandmother

[sb3108]

I have posted previously about my struggles with my 14 year old daughter. She is verbally abusive to me and recently kicked off so badly as I cancelled her phone for not going to school. My boyfriend had to step in to tell her that her behaviour was not acceptable and took her phone off her. She was actually being physically aggressive towards me and her twin brother. I had to phone the police as she then went missing and since that night she has went to stay with my mum to give us both some breathing space as she seems to really hate me. My daughter is now saying that she doesn't want to come home especially when my boyfriend is there and wants to stay with her grandmother. Any advice ? I don't really know what to do ? I'm hoping she will change her mind but what if she doesn't?

Maybe you both need this space. It wouldn’t mean that she isn’t your daughter any more, but without the everyday pressure of living together and winding each other up, you might be able to rebuild some positive parts of your relationship - after a break you will need to arrange some time together - going out for a hot chocolate together etc.

I agree with Slkk, this could be the space you both need for a while. If her grandmother can get her to go to school and not go missing again then it may be better to let her stay where she is for now but let her know he can change her mind, the door will be open for her.

It might help you to rebuild your relationship to have some time apart, pRticularly if she respects your mum rather than simply walking all over her.

I would want to find out what her problem with your boyfriend is though. Her reaction seems a bit strong for mere jealousy.

Thank you for your advice girls. I appreciate that. I'm hoping it won't be a long term thing and she will be back soon. Maybe it's best to try and rebuild our relationship without the drama. I think now she dislikes my boyfriend who she has always got on with and he lives with me most of the week. He only stays away when He has his son for a night. I'm worried I'm going to have to make a choice between my daughter and my partner which is awful cause he didn't do anything wrong