to ask if you have any tutors visiting your DC at home?

[hometutor1234]

I work as an instrumental tutor and during the day work in schools and a couple of evenings a week I visit people's homes to teach their DC for 1-1 lessons.

I have been doing this job for about 15 years so regard myself as quite experienced.

I visit a family which I am having a real problem with and am on the point of not going there anymore as I feel so uncomfortable.

The Mum is nice but massively intense and OTT. She sits opposite me at the dining table. Asking questions throughout the lesson. She then keeps me after the lesson time and carries on asking questions.

The daughter has a homework diary and therefore everything is written down. The last straw was last week when the Mum asked to record my hands on her ipad to check her daughter was getting everything correct when doing her homework.

It's got to the point I am thinking of saying 'sorry I can no longer fit you in I have other work commitments' - I would love to be honest but you can't really tell a parent that she is too intense and making me feel uncomfortable can you? Especially when it is in their home.

What makes me laugh though is her daughter is only 7 and a complete beginner working on prep test- anyone would think she was working on a performance diploma at A level standard the way her mum behaves!

Any ideas?? what would you like to happen if you were either in my position or the Mum?

It's your choice who you work with or for
People are crying out fife turors and I'm sure you'll be in demand

Please escape on timemof nothing else - must dash another child to see and wouldn't want to be late

Or cancel - tell her your limiting your clients due to work commitments and give her a list of recommended tutors in the area - job done

I tutor in Literacy and that would do my head in. As you are a confident experienced tutor you could say it to her with no apology as you are prepared to lose her as a client. Maybe say ..l am more relaxed teaching with no one looking on and in my many other homes l don't have people watching. Or you could just say this is not working . ( thats probably what l would do!) It would be ok too to say l have another client straight after and need to rush but will give you feedback once a month as to how she is progressing.
But you are perfectly normal to be feeling as you are. Its not a good environment to work in. Poor child..she has a tricky road ahead with such an overbearing dm.

thanks both, I've made a decision to let her go

Yes and I leave/left them to it. Did had English gcse tutor (male) and I left door open. Went in at end for update.
Ds has female guitar teacher - leave them to it, chat re progress while she’s packing up.

Yes, had a maths tutor for my dd. Made her a cuppa at the beginning, left them to get on with it, and very quick "how's she doing?" type chat afterwards at the door. Definitely get rid, with a white lie! Poor girl!

Sounds like Mum is a nightmare - poor kid

Oh dear, poor girl!

DS has a guitar tutor, he was 15 when he started lessons. I just sussed the guy out and made sure I was in the house for the first couple of lessons then we unavoidably had to be out. So I just checked that the tutor was happy enough to be alone in the house with DS as I didn't want to put him in an awkward position and he was fine with it so now we are either in or out as the need arises. We generally manage with a few words as he is coming in and leaving and if i have anything more to ask, I'll drop him a message and he can respond when he gets time or will update me the next week.

I think you are right to drop them as much as it's a shame for the pupil, that is just micromanagement in the extreme.