Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD has googled early signs of pregnancy - should I ask her about this?

8 replies

Flippant74 · 24/09/2018 06:49

I take my DD phone away at night and charge it in the kitchen so that she can sleep - if I left it in her room she would be on snap-chat with her friends until the early hours of the morning.

When plugging it in last night she had not shut down all the apps and a web page was open. This lit up as I plugged the charger in - It was a fact page on the early signs of pregnancy. I could see from her google search that she had researched "early signs of pregnancy".

DD is 14 and has a boyfriend (also 14). We recently had another conversation (we have had a few now!) about sex as I am aware that they are spending a lot of time together and are becoming extremely close.

If I have learnt anything from this brilliant website, it is to communicate with my teenagers, and I now also try to be as open and honest with them as I can, in the hope that they feel confident to talk to me about anything.

The reason for the conversation was due to the fact that I am aware that there is a 14 year old at another school in our area who is pregnant and has decided to keep the baby. We were discussing how hard it must be for the girl/boy and their families to make that decision, and how their lives will all change in the next few months.

The result of the conversation was her telling me that she hadn't gone that far with him as she didn't think that she had been going out with him for long enough and that she didn't feel ready yet (huge sigh of relieve from me, followed by I think you're making a great choice by waiting as I feel that 14 is too young to!). She did offer the information that they had spoken about it.

She has very short breaks between periods with her cycle happening every 10-13 days at the moment. She has recently gone on the pill to try and regulate things (she's 3 weeks in to her first packet). She got her period again on Friday.

With the fact that she has her period, I am confused about why she would have googled this. She's a clever kid and knows that periods stop when you are pregnant.

Is it because they have actually done and and she's now worried, and has forgotten the practical facts that she knows? She has been feeling sick over the weekend with sore boobs and a stomach ache - all period related - but to a worried teenager could be seen as signs of pregnancy??? Or is it perhaps something that she is researching for a friend.

I am wondering whether I mention that I saw the open webpage on her phone and try and get her to talk to me about it, without feeling as though I have been snooping or don't trust her. Or do I just ignore it, as I know that she isn't pregnant, but then I'm left wandering if she had lied to me about having sex?

I'm feeling surprisingly calm - but that's probably only because I know she has her period!

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 24/09/2018 06:53

I would have a general chat about contraception very soon, dont mention the phone thing.

NancyJoan · 24/09/2018 06:54

I would mention it. Tell her you saw it in her phone, and you want to know if there’s anything she’d like to ask you about. If they are having sex-not ideal, but try not to go berserk - then make sure she’s comfortable with it, and that they know to use condoms as well, in case her pill-taking is not 100% reliable.

MonaChopsis · 24/09/2018 06:56

Given that you are confident your DD is not pregnant, I would leave it. She might just be curious as to how the other girl realised she was pregnant, or it might just have been passing idle curiosity, and (even though I know you didn't peek on purpose) it might make her feel like you snooped if you talk to her about it now. It seems that you two have really great communication at the moment... Don't jeopardise that by jumping to conclusions!

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 24/09/2018 07:04

I agree with Mona.

Hmmalittlefishy · 24/09/2018 07:09

I would wait a week so it doesn't look obvious you saw her phone and just gently remind her that if her and her boyfriend do have sex they need to use condoms to keep themselves safe despite her being on the pill.
It is good to remind her of this anyway
I wonder if she searched her period symptoms and it came up early stages of pregnancy so she then searched that to see the difference?

Bellatrix14 · 24/09/2018 07:45

Slightly unrelated note (sorry!), but the ‘not bleeding while pregnant’ rule doesn’t always apply though, especially if you’re on the pill. It’s obviously not a ‘real’ period, but you can still have a bleed at a similar time each month for the first month or so, which is what happened to my mum when she was pregnant with me. She was on the pill, missed a ‘period’ and did a test which came back as positive. She went to the doctor expecting to be told that she was about 4 weeks pregnant and was actually about 14 weeks pregnant and hadn’t missed a withdrawal bleed!

Your daughter sounds like she’s being very sensible though. I just like to share my mum’s story as a cautionary tale! Wink

khakoney · 01/10/2018 13:01

She might be just curious about pregnancies and thus googled it.

ashvivienne · 02/10/2018 03:23

I wouldn’t mention it I would just bring up contraception and perhaps if she is taking anything or would need you to take her to the doctor or a clinic to get something at all if she felt she needed it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page