Daughter in despair

[pippitysqueakity]

Found 2empty cans of drink in Dd wardrobe. She told me all her friends go out drinking at weekend in local park, she knew I wouldn’t let her go so tried it to see what it was like.
After discussing with her, she is v lonely and sad because this is what all her friends do at the weekend so why she is always in. She’s 15 just.
Says she wishes she wasn’t here(alive) because what’s the point. While
I know it’s typical teenage angst, and I remember it well, not sure how do deal, ie not feed it, nor belittle it.
Any advice?

Encourage her to try other groups of people-scouts, guides, running clubs, creative clubs etc?

Sorry, should have said, she is member of three separate sports clubs which take up a lot of her time, she really only has weekends free, which is when her friends go out.

Maybe try and make some extra time for her for a bit? Shopping trip/meal out or even just out for a coffee and chat?

Would you allow her to go if she agreed not to drink? She will be going to uni in 3 years, she needs to learn to be responsible around people who are drinking and not give in to peer pressure.

Get her a hobby and maybe consider changing school. Hanging around a park drinking implies a lack of aspiration among her peers.
Get her out and keep her doing other more constructive things.

Sorry missed 2nd post. Keep her occupied at the weekends with big trips out every couple of weeks.

Vim, I am thinking about this, but what if the police picked them up? Doubt they would believe her if she said she wasn’t drinking. Also, the being in big park after dark(and it’s dark here about 8.00 now) doesn’t sit right with me somehow. Biol, she currently has three consuming and costly sports hobbies, her weekends are also quite busy, it’s just the weekend evenings that seem to be bothering her.
It’s more how to deal with her catastrophising her (actually pretty good) life , I think. She feels excluded from her peer group, but at 15 her peer group are being pretty inappropriate. I know teens are supposed to be like this, but don’t feel I can actively condone this?

Get her to write down what she thinks will happen in a day, week, month, year. Then get her to write down what actually happens at those points.

Not all teens do this. Is there no one she could invite round for an evening or sleepover?

I don't think it's the norm for most 14-15 year olds to spend every week end drinking. Do you know the friends she is referring to?

Get her to write down what she thinks will happen in a day, week, month, year. Then get her to write down what actually happens at those points.

I think Haggis has a good idea here. She's at a fast-moving time in life and it's good to think about how much is going to happen very soon:

16: Leaving school and going to Sixth Form/college.
17: Learning to drive if she wants to.
18: Everything open to her at that point, drinking included!

In 3 years, she'll be at a completely different place in her life and drinking in the park will seem pointless.

I do sympathise, I have one DC who's recently got obsessed with "what's the point of life" and it's so difficult to answer. I sometimes tell him we're just here and we need to make the best of it. I know that's not a great answer, but that's all I've come up with so far!

OP I feel your pain. What we do around where I live is let the kids have friends round never on a school night and weekend just occasionally
You have to have their friends around you to see what's what.
I adore my DC's friends. They're great

We have similar what’s the point conversations-I say similarly, we just are, so you need to be kind and have fun!

I told her maybe we would let her out with her friends at weekend after a lot of heart searching and disagreements with DH. She replied she really wasn’t that bothered about going out...I remember this age being hard for me, didn’t realise quite what I put my mum through!

Has she any close friends she could invite over or are all her friends in one group

Why don't you invite the other girls round to yours every other weekend?
Do you have contact with the other parents? I'll be deeply concerned to let my child out to the park at night let alone drink.
Even as a grown woman I'll be worried to be out.