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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS will not put down his phone! Any advice?

16 replies

LovingParentTo2 · 17/09/2018 08:02

My eldest of two is addicted to his mobile and nothing I say can stop him. My DD isn't as bad but she is younger and I don't want to go through the same thing with her! If you could answer some or any of these that'd be great:

Do your DC struggle with tech addiction?
What exactly about the technology is addictive for your DS/DD?
How, if possible, have you stopped this?
What problems does it create for you?

Again thank you for any help possible, I feel like I'm slowly losing the boy I once new Sad

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 17/09/2018 08:10

How old is he? Does he ignore the "no phones at the table" rule? That's the first red line you must insist on.

Original poster
LovingParentTo2 · 17/09/2018 08:16

I've tried to insist on this rule but, he ends up rushing his food and then leaving? I'm worried he won't eat if I try any harder.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 17/09/2018 08:55

Turn WiFi off or change the password -could be an option

namechangedbutneedadvice · 17/09/2018 09:01

I posted this the other day but I am horribly addicted to my phone. I bought something called a KSafe off Amazon and it's a marvel. It's a time delay safe, really easy to use, nice looking and I just don't think about my phone as much when it's in there. Might sound a bit extreme but an option...

I've found it's useful to put it in an hour before bed so I can sleep properly or for an hour over dinner.

pickingdaisies · 17/09/2018 10:52

If he has to put it away for half an hour at meal times, or in that safe thing that namechanged suggested, so rushing his food won't help. Still has to wait until time's up. Sorry got no other ideas, sounds like he's really got it bad. Switching off WiFi for set period might be the only answer if he can't help himself, and is in denial that he's addicted to it.

Original poster
LovingParentTo2 · 17/09/2018 11:11

I'll research the KSafe, thank you namechanged, it may be extreme but necessary. As for the WiFi tinytemper66, it would be difficult as i work from home but if the KSafe doesnt work it will be my plan B, there may be a way to lock him out while still allowing myself. Thanks also pickingdasies lets hope one day his willpower will be strong enough.

OP posts:
SlimmingMumOf1 · 17/09/2018 12:52

Throw it at the wall

2BorNot2Bvocal · 21/09/2018 19:26

DS is not allowed his phone 3 school nights per week. He still has it at school and on the bus so he has plenty of time even on those days to talk to friends, snapchat & play games. Those nights he gets on with homework & goes to sports club. I find it easier to have an absolute rule than keep having to have the conversation about please put it down.

BrokenWing · 23/09/2018 09:16

Ds(14) is not allowed his phone near the table at meal times or to rush food. He is not allowed to look at it when we are having a conversation, especially if he is sitting beside me in the car. He is not allowed it after bedtime. If we are doing something, maybe watching a film or visiting grandparents, and his face is in his phone he is told to put it aside and concentrate on the film/people.

He knows I will not accept rudeness in general and that includes using his phone at inappropriate times, he can use it any other time he wants. I know he is only 14, but I hope the good habits will become ingrained before he hits the tough teen years.

Mominatrix · 25/09/2018 06:26

I f both of you have iPhones, download iOS 12, which is now available. Make sure your son in your Family, then go to Screen Time in the Settings menu. From there, you can restrict his phone remotely to put downtimes on (phone essentially locked down to just the things you will allow - my sons' phones are just on phone only during this time) and also pacing time limits on apps. Since it came out (I was a beta tester), no more fights in this house about the phone!

HurricaneFloss · 25/09/2018 06:33

You're his mum. The adult. Can't you just take the bloody thing off him?

feathermucker · 25/09/2018 06:37

I'd impose restrictions. He won't like it at first and will probably rebel against it, but it's worth persevering.

Be firm and don't give in. Maybe a limit of x amount of time per day, not at the dinner table and not after a certain time?

Cauliflowersqueeze · 25/09/2018 06:47

Take it from him. Don’t pussy foot around him.

InTheNavy · 25/09/2018 07:25

I know it's easier said than done.... but set your boundaries and say you won't be paying the contract if he doesn't stick to them.
My boundaries around use times are fairly slack... but not at meal times, ever, is a bottom line for me. Mostly he's just listening to music anyway- trying to block out my Radio 2!
I'm more concerned about WHAT he does on the phone- no porn, no engaging with social media spats, no joining in bullying etc etc . I will cancel his contract at first infringement and he knows I mean it!

QueenOfMyWorld · 25/09/2018 07:30

Take it off him.

FishCanFly · 25/09/2018 14:31

PAYG, limited data. No contract. And as PPs said, no phones at meal times

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