vile 13 year old DS - suspect ADHD?

[Marie0]

I suspect my DS 13 may have ADHD. We are awaiting an ed psych assessment and are also waiting to see Cahms.

He has control issues and his anxiety is masked with angry outbursts.

School are trying to support him by tweaking his timetable so he only has lessons with teachers he gets on with (he has a massive problem with authority and therefore there is a clash when teachers try to control him - he is always sent out for being disruptive).

He has just thrown my clothes airers across the room because he couldn't find his jacket quick enough as he wants to go out.

He doesn't respond to 'normal' discipline methods such as taking his stuff away and grounding him. He can't seem to grasp consequences despite continually re-inforcing boundaries.

Don't really want to go down the route of medication.

I don't react to him in when he's in a rage and I do try and talk to him when he's calm but he just doesn't want anything to do with me.

Anyone relate to this? Really interested to hear from any one who may have experience?

Many thanks
Marie

Can I ask why you wouldn't want to go down the medication route? For my DS it has been a revelation.

He was not diagnosed until he was 14, but his behaviour, although not angry, was impulsive and at times seemed spiteful. He would sing / chirrup / have these little repeated sayings over and over again without realising he was doing it. He spoke without thinking, as soon as a thought came into his head it was out, whether it got him in trouble at school, or hurt peoples feelings. (He was always remorseful though). He was disorganised, his room was an absolute bombshell and he lost something important almost weekly.

For me getting him help was easy, the school suggested it so I had their backing. I got my GP to refer us to very experienced private consultant at the Nuffield hospital nearest to us and he agreed almost instantly having watched my son and talked to him. He gave us 3 questionnaire forms to fill out, one for me, one for my son and one for his form tutor. I sent them back and he diagnosed classic adhd. My son has been on Equasym XL 30mg every day before school for the last year or so. The whole thing cost me £200 and it was well worth it. The NHS have now taken over the prescription locally.

Although my son was initially massively hostile to the idea of ADHD and having to take medication we persevered and now although he doesn't totally agree that it makes a difference to him, he will still take one when he has an important cricket match for example, so he must know it does something. For us as parents and for his teachers, it makes a massive difference. He is still him, he still gets told off, he is still a livewire, but the impulsive, distracted behaviours disappear and I am hoping that he will get good GCSE results directly as a result of taking these tablets.

Read a lot about ADHD as much as you can, and don't be put off by the medication. At least this is something that CAN be helped by meds, unlike ASD and the like. Ask your son how he would feel about taking tablets to help his concentration etc. Be open minded. Good luck x

If he smokes weed at 13, how does he afford it? And you better get it sorted, or he's on the road to more serious addictions

Oh! How do you know he smokes weed? Have I missed something?

Hi thank you bigus bumus

I posted this on the AIBU section yesterday as I thought it would get more traffic.

There was an incident with weed last month which I also posted on. As far as I am aware this was a one off as I have not given him any money and always look in his eyes when he gets home and they haven't been glassy so I believe it to be a one off. (hopefully)

Thank you for sharing your experience, I am glad your son your son (and you) seem to be getting along a lot better.

I think I said I didn't really want to medicate as I sort of see it as a last resort and also worry about side affects. However having read responses from other posters (on the same thread on the AIBU board) I realise it actually may be the best option for us all. I just feel a bit in the dark to be honest.

I do need to do a lot of reading on ADHD and only realised recently that it is more common for a sibling to show traits of ASD / ADHD if a sibling also has it (DS2 is 11 and had an ASD disgnosis a few years ago).

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Marie :)

wolfie

I'm not really sure why you are posting?

I am not going to go to the trouble of answering your questions of which most are answered with the original thread.

Are you ok? You seem to have a few issues