Dd has for the last few years been very difficult to deal with.
Before that was a great kid, helpful & kind at home, good student and all that.
I have no idea what changed (other than hormones) but last few years have been SO difficult.
Huge temper tantrums if she doesn't get her way or told no, eventually led to refusing to go to school. I tried to support her, as did the school but eventually she dropped out. This was a kid who before had been in top class and getting top marks, even taking national exams a year early.
I tried to support her myself and made her appointments at Drs, cahms and others which she then refused to go to.
Other issues with temper kept happening, won't go to bed/sleep at reasonable time etc.
There's been quiet/ok times but not consistently.
She's wrecked stuff, got us in trouble with landlord.
Eventually she got a job which at first she loved. Now saying she hates it and that I'm forcing her to go.
Claiming all kinds of things are making her this way but does nothing to improve matters. I've offered help and support in many ways. But I feel out of my depth so that's why I've suggested cahms and other things.
Occasionally it's accepted but usually only a few days or weeks later it's rejected or she decides it's making matters worse or is me criticising her or 'trying to make myself look good' - how! I don't know! Basically it gets thrown back in my face.
She says other mums let her friends away with more than I do her (I know I know but she's very convincing)
Eg Sunday she asked if she could have a few friends round in the afternoon, I said fine - they were here until early hours of mon morning, they were quite loud (which I didn't appreciate and landlord wouldn't like) my living room has been left a mess which every time I've asked her to tidy it (I can't which she knows) I end up getting a rant of how other parents wouldn't be making a big deal of it.
Tonight it's all kicked off. I'm physically shaking. I've come so close to just kicking her out. She then makes a show of apologising and saying she'll do better.
As things stand she's saying she's going to stay elsewhere for a few days but then come back.
I'll admit I've actually probably been a lousy mum in a number of ways and for a number of reasons but I have tried to do better and be here for her but honestly not only do I think I CAN'T do it any more I don't think I want to. Breaks my heart to even think it but it's where I'm at.
I have no idea what to do. I'm scared of losing her but I'm also scared if she stays here with things as they are, that could happen anyway, plus one of us could well hurt the other.
As it is when she is home I try not to leave my room unless absolutely necessary or she is asleep. I'm so tense when she is due home I feel physically sick.
I have not the first clue what to do.
PLEASE can anyone who's been in a similar situation (either as parent or child), or anyone who deals with this stuff please advise? I'm scared.
Scared of losing her, scared of her being here and things escalating, scared of losing my home.
PLEASE HELP.