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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Literally so livid!!!

34 replies

Tobbay · 05/09/2018 23:15

My Son who is 15yr has been smoking weed over the summer.
I've stopped all money to him so he can't buy it buy he started getting it on credit so I felt like I then had to pay in case he got into a horrible situation with a drug dealer.

This morning he refused to go back to school and spent the day at home after being aggressive.
He then promised me he'd bever do it again.
Just as we are you g to bed he said he got more weed on credit today and wants £10 from me to pay it off... so not only did he refuse school, he then went and sourced weed and expect a me to pay it!!!!

I've given him hundreds which I now known as gone on drugs..

I am furious! But now what? Do I pay it in case the drug dealer comes after him or do I literally let him deal with the consequences???

OP posts:

gamerchick · 08/09/2018 11:51

Letting your 15 year old with ADHD, ticks, anxiety and OCD smoke weed you pay for is a failure

Oooo behold! We have an expert in our midst with tried and tested successes. we await your experience, in all eyes.

OP if you carry on paying his layons it will never end. His school will have the details of the matrix or equivalent drug service for young people. Start there but in the meantime tell him if he gets any drugs on tick he's on his own. Put a lock on your bedroom door for valuables and get into the habit of using it in the meantime.

endofthelinefinally · 08/09/2018 11:52

I do think you have more chance of getting help if you speak to the police and drug services now.
Once my son was 18, nobody would talk to me, I couldn't even make an appointment for him. I was completely helpless. He could only ask for help himself and he was too unwell to do that.

BumbleeBeeMe · 08/09/2018 11:58

God people are bloody harsh.
I think what some mums aren't grasping is that most teenagers are smoking weed - they're just not telling you. I'm 21 and all of the people I went to school with are smoking weed and have been for years, I'm literally the only person I know who hasn't touched it. We went to a very good school and live in a very nice area, it's really not just 'troubled' kids.
Op, I think you're handling it like anyone would. I would pay the debts too, it's worrying what might happen to him if you don't. I do think you need to stop paying for it now though, make it clear that's what's happening and that he can't keep doing this. He probably won't get into real trouble with it.

Kilash · 08/09/2018 12:26

Please involve drug serviecs and the police now. One of the problems with weed that most teenagers don't 'get' is that it can lead to serious mental health problems like psychosis if the teen is vulnerable. We don't know which teens are vulnerable but I have seen too many psychotic 18 and 19 years olds with a possible lifetime of mental health problems in front of them to not want to warn of the risks. Drug services will be helpful in supporting you too.

Secondly, have you heard of the 'going country'? Without wanting to scare you, lots of young people are being groomed into carrying and selling drugs into other (usually small) towns. It starts small with some free weed or a promise of writing off a 'debt but quickly escalates.

I'm not saying for one minute that your son is at this level, but it's really important to be aware of these things. i wuld pay the outstanding debt, have a serious talk, speak to poloice and drug services. Good Luck - it's a really tough thing.

GreenTulips · 08/09/2018 13:43

I think what some mums aren't grasping is that most teenagers are smoking weed

Didn't you see the bit about him owing money
Skipping school
Lazing in bed all day
Prior disabilities?

A few school kids smoking weed occasionally that they can afford and doesn't prevent them from engaging in school is a different senario

Ariela · 08/09/2018 14:01

Is it that the drug pushers/suppliers are at school and that's why he's refusing to go?

BG2015 · 08/09/2018 16:06

I believe my son has also been smoking weed. I've smelt it but have no evidence. He denies it.

I have a friend who has used drugs in the last ( hasn't for many years now) and he says in these situations you should meet the dealer and tell them that he's only 15 and to stop selling him drugs as there is no money to pay for them.

I know as a middle aged woman I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this but maybe it's the only way to stop it. That's if he wants to stop and his dealer isn't his mate at school.

It is very worrying and you have my every sympathy.

BG2015 · 08/09/2018 16:07

*past

Apileofballyhoo · 08/09/2018 16:16

Cannabis is an effective very short term relief from anxiety, and people suffering from anxiety are very vulnerable to getting addicted to it. Unfortunately it will just make things worse.

What are you doing to tackle his anxiety, OP? Is he on medication or doing any form of therapy? He's possibly addicted already and you'll have to throw everything you can at him to help him.

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