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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

This is normal, isn't it?

9 replies

LynetteScavo · 02/09/2018 16:21

This morning I was about to have a shower before going out...but someone beat me to the bathroom (we only have one) so after half an hour I called through the door to ask if they'd be long...DD called back that she wouldn't. 15 mins later I asked her to hurry up and she said she'd be two minutes. 15 minutes later she emerged from a cloud of steam...the floor was completely flooded.

Meanwhile I'd cleared up her mess from yesterday....I'd been out yesterday and left her with her 19yo brother. When I got home claimed she had hoovered everywhere downstairs and mopped the kitchen floor, and for this she wanted £10, (and £10 for cleaning the car, but that's a different story) no agreement had been made, she just decided this while we were out

So I've had to bring in the kitchen bins and mats which she'd taken outside, put away the hoover which was dumped in the middle of the hall with the cable training everywhere, cleaned up the dirty plates she left on the garden table and the bowls and many wafer crumbs from the living room (which presumably she's created after hoovering). One of the bowls contained blackberries and she knows she's banned from eating blackberries etc in the living room or her bedroom after she ruined some very nice soft furnishings in her room by smothering her bed in blackberries.

And the reason she is trying to earn money is that she suddenly started crying on the beach last week for a £130 skateboard (having never shown any previous interest in skateboards) after 24 hours of sobbing we gave in, and subbed her the extra £30 she needed, and she now wants to pay us back. She never, ever cries normally which is why we caved.

She's just turned 13....is this normal, or has one of us suddenly become really, really unreasonable.

I may have shouted at her when she finally emerged from the bathroom

OP posts:
Chipotlejars · 02/09/2018 16:30

I'm afraid to say this all sounds horribly familiar! The messiness, the entitled behaviour, the odd mood swings and desperately wanting something. Yep, my 15 yr old teen demonstrates all of these traits regularly.

I can't fathom it because she used to be a rather competent helper around the ages of 8- 12 and could carry out a variety of household tasks willingly. And she rarely asked for things. It's as though hormones have stolen her ability to function normally ATM! She is very lethargic and disorganised but can suddenly rally if she is doing something she wants to do with friends. At the same time, the lethargy and clutziness (if that's a word) doesn't seem totally put on either. It's confusing tbh.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 02/09/2018 16:48

Did you give her the £10 OP? I think I would have thanked her for doing the hoovering but said I would pay up when the mats and bins were back in place and the hoover put away properly.

Rebecca36 · 02/09/2018 16:52

Quite normal. Try to get into the bathroom first. Is there any way you can have a shower installed somewhere else?

Holidayshopping · 02/09/2018 16:56

I hope you didn’t give her the money! My teen wouldn’t do this and if she tried to get me to give her money for doing chores I hadn’t asked her to do, she wouldn’t get cash!

LynetteScavo · 02/09/2018 16:59

She is very lethargic and disorganised but can suddenly rally if she is doing something she wants to do with friends.

Oh, yes indeed!

No, she didn't get the £10

No, we cannot put in a shower....we took out the downstairs shower to extend the kitchen, with a plan to put in another bathroom and bedroom upstairs, but now can't afford to do it.

I do usually get in the bathroom first, so she probably wasn't expecting me to want to go in.

I'm finally calming down Hmm

OP posts:
IdahoJones · 02/09/2018 17:00

Yeah, sounds familiar enough. Shouting Is normal, too. Rites of passage, innit?

upsideup · 02/09/2018 17:02

It sounds totally normal and it doesnt sound that bad really, you should probably count yourself lucky.
She really wanted something, put her own £100 towards it and now is trying to work and earn the money back you leant her which is nice especially if you didnt say she had to do that.
Long showers, totally normal and my 22 year old dd still hasnt mastered the art of showering in under half an hour but she should have hurried when asked but might not have realised how long she was taking
Normal to eat food in banned food eating room, you werent there to see and she thought she'd be more carful this time and not make a mess.

IdahoJones · 02/09/2018 17:07

The skateboard will be to do with cool kids or a particular cool kid maybe? Or adopting a desired persona? I used to get longings like that from 13 onwards.

GeorgeTheHippo · 02/09/2018 17:29

It might be normal, but that doesn't mean you have to accept it as if it is ok.

Sounds like there's something going on with the skateboard does she have a crush on someone

I'd talk to her about that. And squash the one hour showers, they need to stop right now, they'll cost you a bomb and all the paint will peel off in the bathroom.

Bless them.

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