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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Sports for non-sporty but love sports DC

35 replies

MercedesDeMonteChristo · 01/09/2018 17:20

DS1 is almost 12. He is pretty academic and loves board games and quizzes etc in his spare time. However, he loves football and in fact PE. He seems to have come to terms with the fact that he can't play in a team because though he tries really hard and loves it he is not as good as his peers. He has decided as soon as he hits 14 to do a referee course to satisfy his interest. But recently he tried rugby and is upset because he really isn't that great and can see it against the others. He really wants to play sport but once you get passed about 10 there doesn't appear to be any fun clubs anymore.

Does anyone have any advice or stories of DC managing to pursue a sport but not be brilliant and still get joy from it?

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 01/09/2018 17:27

Could he try a different sport, eg a martial art, or something that you do alongside others but at your own pace? Or could he find a solely friendly team, or is he too young to play alongside those adults on a 'friendly/accept anyone' te am?

I hate that about UK hobbies - that it becomes solely about attainment and not about enjoyment. It's not the same in other countries I think.

Original poster
MercedesDeMonteChristo · 01/09/2018 17:35

Yes, the attainment thing hits really early. It's quite sad. He is probably too young for the free for alls right now. I think he also wants to be a part of something. He hasn't really made any friends at his new school so sees it as a bit of an opportunity but he seems to always be the one everyone shouts out for missing or whatever.

He is just adamant that he wants a sport (having suggested chess which he did successfully and happily for a time).

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 01/09/2018 17:39

Have you looked at local athletics clubs where he could try a variety of things like long jump / throwing events although they are individual events there is a lot of camaraderie in training groups etc . Alternatively , and obviously depending on your budget horse riding is great for all ages .

leddeeburdee · 01/09/2018 17:41

My son is the same age and isn’t especially sporty but really enjoys sport.
He sails at our local sailing club, bikes (mountain biking, trail biking) and windsurfs (we live near a reservoir, nowhere near the coast).
Don’t know if any of those hold any interest (or indeed if there are any options for that near you), but for my son it means he can go out and exercise with friends but there isn’t any particular competition involved. Being part of a sailing club also means you develop the social aspect by going along with the same group every week.
He’s also been part of an indoor climbing club previously which had a social aspect with it.

Original poster
MercedesDeMonteChristo · 01/09/2018 17:43

I did suggest athletics but the waiting list for out local one is huge. Climbing could be a good one though. We aren't close to anything else suggested though great ideas.

OP posts:
museumum · 01/09/2018 17:50

Martial arts. Definitely. Everyone achieves at their own rate but it’s quite bonded bf because you need to build trust with your club mates.

museumum · 01/09/2018 17:50

Bonding ffs no bf involved Shock

alardi · 01/09/2018 17:51

Triathlon? It's kind of a default for people who can do everything but not as well as the best at them individually.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 01/09/2018 17:55

Hockey, badminton, squash, water polo.

FlaviaAlbia · 01/09/2018 17:58

I'd suggest climbing and cycling/BMX, it's great because there are classes with other kids and some competitions but the focus is mostly on competing against yourself.

LIZS · 01/09/2018 18:00

Climbing, sailing, canoeing, orienteering, golf?

Peanutbuttercups21 · 01/09/2018 18:02

Bit leftfield, but my 13yr old quit rugby and now does army cadets

It's given him lots of nice new friends

cdtaylornats · 01/09/2018 18:04

Volleyball, Badminton, Golf, Fencing

Golf is good - I've known people who have played for years and blame the clubs, poor course maintenance - anything but themselves.

milienhaus · 01/09/2018 18:04

Rowing if there’s a river nearby?

Anythingforacatslife · 01/09/2018 18:04

Fencing is a very sociable sport and you don’t have to be very sporty to be good at it.

Original poster
MercedesDeMonteChristo · 01/09/2018 19:01

Great ideas, thank you. Fencing has actually come up before in conversation so will see what he thinks of these ideas.

OP posts:
Ethelswith · 01/09/2018 19:07

As he like chess, try fencing. It's rather like chess, but with puncture wounds.

Also, get him along to Parkrun or Junior Parkrun

Northernparent68 · 01/09/2018 19:18

I’d strongly recommend boxing, the instructors are always great and everyone I need a boxing class friendly and patient.

That being said there are football course providers who specialise in improvement and there are b and c football teams

LockedOutOfMN · 01/09/2018 19:20

Would he like Park Run?

How about something less popular like korfball, handball, or roller hockey, if they have them in your area? Or a racket sport, or martial art?

BellsaRinging · 01/09/2018 19:27

I have had this with both ds. No 1 runs and does parkrun regularly and he also sails and does archery. Ds no 2 is very shy and has started karate, which suits him because he can learn the form by himself but it's also being part of a club with others. I think with martial arts you have to find the right club, though. Ours is not very competative if you don't want it to be, but the children are expected to be fit and to try their hardest. There are a number of lovely teens who often get called on to take groups and teach them certain bits-which is good for them.
Other than that they both swim and ds will do his life guarding qualification, for a summer job if nothing else-he likes rookie lifeguards at the moment.

Mide7 · 01/09/2018 19:34

If he enjoys football or rugby, he should do that. Very few people are good at sports from the offset. He’s 11 he has lots of time to develop and he might some stuff about dedication and perseverance.

Original poster
MercedesDeMonteChristo · 01/09/2018 20:47

He plays football constantly but just not in a team. He is yhough constantly berated for 'losing' etc which he finds upsetting but he keeps going back at lunch and to after school clubs etc and was described by his PE and form tutor this year as the most resilient child they had ever come across in their careers, so he is not giving up etc. It's just sad to see him upset by something he loves iyswim. We have done park run once or twice so ill encourage that too.

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 04/09/2018 22:47

Have you looked into football improver courses ?

FadedRed · 04/09/2018 22:59

Agree with fencing, martial arts and rowing, all brilliant for being part of a like minded group, but attainment at own pace.
Also skiing, if you have a dry slope or snow dome nearby, and horse riding (although he might be a minority among the girls, it's a brilliant sport for strength and confidence building, and horses are wonderful creatures).

RomaineCalm · 04/09/2018 23:05

Is there a local badminton club? Lots of our local younger teens play at the leisure centre on a Saturday. It's very sociable and reasonably easy to play at a good enough level to make it fun.

Golf is also a good shout. Do you have a local course where he could try a block of lessons?