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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

pre-teen and pubic hair question

18 replies

Fettuccinecarbonara · 26/08/2018 22:31

Dd is only just 11 and has the beginnings of pubic hair.

Tonight she asked me if she could remove it, as it itches?

She asked me in passing, as I was putting her sibling to bed, I just said ‘no, it will itch even more then’ and the moment passed.

But it got me thinking. Should I broach the subject with her again? Should I offer her the option?

Please help! She’s my eldest and I’ve no experience at all - and it’s not the kind of conversation you can have with other people in RL.

OP posts:

SneakyGremlins · 26/08/2018 22:33

It's her body, surely she should be allowed to remove it?

Original poster

Fettuccinecarbonara · 26/08/2018 22:34

What with sneaky? A razor? She hasn’t asked to shave her legs yet, so this question threw me.

Presumably not waxing? Hair removal cream?

OP posts:

sourpatchkid · 26/08/2018 22:34

I can't remember but I'm guessing it itches as it comes through? However - I'm really sorry - I wouldn't underestimate the role of porn in this. At 11 it's possible she's seen some (I read recently that 90% of 12 year old boys have accessed porn more than once)

She may well think 'bald' is how she's supposed to look. I know most older teenagers get rid of theirs. I don't know how I feel about that ...

Sorry that probably doesn't help 🙄

sourpatchkid · 26/08/2018 22:35

Plus it really will itch more if she removes it. She needs to be aware Hair removal isn't the each option

SneakyGremlins · 26/08/2018 22:36

I'd go with a razor, so if she decides it's not right for her it can grow back quickly.

sunsalutations · 26/08/2018 22:36

She can trim it, I did that as a teenager. Some of them were soog

sunsalutations · 26/08/2018 22:37

So long !

SimonBridges · 26/08/2018 22:38

Have a talk with her about what is natural.
Pubic hair removal wasn’t a thing when I was her age so I can’t speak from experience.

Can I also comment to others that they should be very careful talking about this. Not that doubt the op but be aware that anyone can be reading this.

TokyoSushi · 26/08/2018 22:39

It depends where it is I suppose, under her arms, absolutely let her remove it, anywhere else, I'd discourage her, but let her know the options.

Howhot · 26/08/2018 22:41

I remember itching as it came through. Is that what is happening here?

Original poster

Fettuccinecarbonara · 26/08/2018 22:46

I swear I’m not a pubic hair troll! But understand that it is such a sensitive subject, I actually searched for a similar thread title in the hope I’d not have to post my own thread, but nothing.

I can’t give the poor kid a razor and tell her to get on with it! She’s never held one in her life, and I can’t exactly show her how to shave her own privates! I refuse to show her how to shave her own legs until she expresses an interest, she’s not even in secondary school yet, she has another year in primary.

I would think it’s unlikely she’s seen porn, she doesn’t have her own phone. But I shave. Sometimes I have a landing strip, sometimes I’m bald, sometimes, like this month, I’m sporting a proper 70’s bush.

OP posts:

Racecardriver · 26/08/2018 22:51

It will itch as it first comes out but then when she gets used to it. If you remove it, unless she is very lucky or religious with exfoliating, it will itch very badly and she is likely to get ingrown hairs. Just make sure that she is washing it daily and that she isn't using any soap or shampoo on it (this could also be the cause of the itching).

blitzen · 26/08/2018 22:56

Poor thing. I remember this happening to me, though I was much younger, around 6 or 7. My mother encouraged trimming very carefully with nail scissors which I managed well. She used to shave my armpits for me at the sink when I was about 9 until I could do it myself. I think a lady shave trimmer thing would be a good investment for your dd.

Original poster

Fettuccinecarbonara · 26/08/2018 22:58

Oh a lady shave could be a brilliant idea! Thank you!!!

Would you broach it again, or leave her to? She’s not at all shy about her body and needs to be constantly reminded to put clothes on

OP posts:

blitzen · 26/08/2018 22:59

Ps I would recommend the Wilkinson sword Quattro bikini razor which has a razor on one end and a trimmer with guard on the other. Nearly always on offer in boots, Tesco etc. The trimmer has never cut me.

han01uk · 26/08/2018 23:03

My daughter is 9 and has pubic hair (had hormone tests etc for early development),so we have been trimming down below for some time as she was so embarrassed at school. Now she is starting to get underarm hair too and I did assist her to shave that as she was away at brownie camp and wanted it rid of. I don't think shaving down below until it's all developed will be very comfortable,so we will carry on trimming for now. Perhaps offer this so it's less noticeable without all the itchiness that goes with shaving would be a better option....

Isentthesignal · 27/08/2018 10:21

I remember wanting to remove mine at that age, I hated how it looked - I thought it looked ugly - I had never seen porn and I’d had no conversations about pubes with anyone.

Zoflorabore · 27/08/2018 10:32

Pls discourage her from shaving op!

I remember being 10 and shaving all of mine off ( I was a very early developer ) and cut myself terrible but the worst was the itching,itching for weeks and weeks.

I've used everything under the sun over the years and am now rocking the bush at 40, dd is 7 and thinks it's hysterical

I've no doubt my dd will be an early developer as she's starting to get buds already and I will be buying her a lady shave if she expresses an interest in hair removal, razors can be dangerous and both she and I are clumsy enough.

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