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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Do you let your kids roam the streets?

18 replies

kellyscarlett · 19/08/2018 08:16

Hello all...
So yesterday I had a particularly nasty argument with my I laws, who say I should let my 12 years old daughter out on a night, (I live in a very rough town, to put in perspective how rough someone was stabbed and died last month in my street) anyway I don't let them out on their own. Friends sleep over, we are out a lot, wild camping, hiking, days out etc but I remember being her age and just roaming around the streets getting into all kinds of trouble! Am I being over protective?

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 19/08/2018 08:18

Dont do it if you are not happy with it.
she is still young.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/08/2018 08:37

No, why would you let a 12 year old out at night with nothing in particular to do? Has she expressed an interest in doing it? What’s it got to do with the ILs anyway?

Singlenotsingle · 19/08/2018 08:40

Don't invent problems. She'll soon be a teenager, agitating to go out at night anyway. Then your problems will really start!

TaMamaiSaChistinAgusSanOifig · 19/08/2018 08:42

12! no way!

ErictheGuineaPig · 19/08/2018 08:51

It's difficult to say if you're being over protective - it depends on the child and the area and you say yours is rough. Are all her friends out? Is she the only one not allowed out?

My 11 year old will go out on his bike to meet his friends, they usually go to the park together. Sometimes stay out and get lunch from the chippy. Similarly my 13 year old has been meeting her friends for a while and they'll have a wander, pop to the shops for sweets or whatever. Now they go into town and mooch round the shops. Don't know if that classes as 'roaming the streets'?? We live in a safe area though so I'm confident in my decision and I would never question another parent's.

cariadlet · 20/08/2018 13:55

When my dd was 12 she was only just starting to go into town to meet her friends during the day. I certainly wouldn't have let her out on her own at night - and we live in a small, fairly quiet town.

MargoLovebutter · 20/08/2018 13:59

Thing is it depends.

Would I let my 12 year old out in a rough town at night to "roam the streets" by themselves? Er, no!

Would I let my 12 year old walk into town with a friend, during daylight hours to do a bit of shopping and walk home again, whilst having a mobile phone and only going to pre-agreed places - probably yes.

MargoLovebutter · 20/08/2018 14:00

And would I just "nod and ignore" any blather from the in-laws about the rules for my DC - definitely yes! [grin}

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 20/08/2018 14:03

At night? No.

TBH I’m not keen on DS13 roaming the streets during the day. He doesn’t really want to though. He will meet friends for swimming or the cinema or Mac Donald’s which involves a certain amount of “roaming” but it’s always on the way to somewhere and has a purpose rather than pointless bored hanging around roaming which is when the mischief starts.

Luckything50 · 23/08/2018 09:51

My dd12 has spent the summer walking to the beach (15mins) going in to town and on the train to neighbouring towns all with groups of friends- I’ve barely seen her. She rings me to tell me what a lovely time they’re having and I track her with an app. I would rather she were colouring in her room but sadly those days are over. Compared to some I’m probably very relaxed. However, two rules; when it gets to around 6-7pm I go and pick her/them up from wherever they are as I don’t want her out after dark, and if she can’t find a friend to walk with she doesn’t go or I deliver her, don’t want her alone either. If you’re happy you are giving her enough independence if she’s asking for it, you can ignore well meaning (or not) advice imo.

HollyGibney · 23/08/2018 09:59

No. Neither my 11 or 15 year old does that. No one does here. They go to the shopping centre or the cinema or have friends round or go to events they're interested in. They don't hang aimlessly around on the streets and have never shown any inclination to.

Bouledeneige · 24/08/2018 06:32

Depends what you mean by roam the streets. At 12 my kids were walking to and from friends houses in the early evening. They never expressed a desire to roam the streets.

Birdinthetree · 24/08/2018 21:11

I allowed them to go places on their own but I wasn’t too keen on them hanging around town and so I didn’t allow it. I wouldn’t allow my 15 year olds to roam around town at night and we live in a safe area...I think they might have grown out of that by now anyway.

RedSkyLastNight · 26/08/2018 15:37

At 14 and 12 my DC regularly go out to friends' houses and will hang out in the park or other places and wander round local roads. They have to be home before it is dark and we live in a quiet residential area though.

BarbarianMum · 27/08/2018 20:05

At night no. If you mean " play out" or hang around in the park with friends or go call on friends during the day then yes, of course. At 12 they need some time away from you.

neveradullmoment99 · 21/09/2018 17:58

I live in a good area and wouldn't let my dd at 12 roam the streets at night either! During the day, yes, she goes out to her friends but not always and she usually arranges it in advance.

BackforGood · 21/09/2018 18:49

No.
They go out if they are going somewhere.
Well, dd2 walks the dog with her friend, so literally she will be walking the streets, but it is for a set time, doing a set thing.

christi26 · 11/10/2018 11:25

I think you have to judge carefully your own town/environment, it might have be very different there 30 years ago! If you are worried and want to keep track of your teenage child, you could try this app: www.northernmum.com/2018/10/teenage-safety-is-no-panic-with-pom/

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