My daughter's been dumped, what can I do to help her?

[VauxhallVectra]

DD's 17 and was with this boy for a few months.

They got on well but I got the sense DD was getting a bit bored of him and it was all coming to a natural end.

On Tuesday, though, he dumped her and she's really gutted. She's not necessarily gutted that the relationship ended but gutted that he dumped her. She's taken it personally IYSWIM.

So she's in a weird mood - kind of angry rather than hurt and I don't know how to help her.

I've offered her a girly day-out tomorrow but she doesn't want that.
I've suggested she get some of her friends together but she doesn't want that.

I've warned her not to do anything stupid (like posting crap on FB or talking badly about him).

I know she probably just needs to wallow and let this pass but is there anything I can do to help while this passes?

Not really. You need to just let her get it out of her system. I remember those days of heartbreak and there isn’t much that can be done. You are already being very supportive!

Be there to listen, sympathise, commiserate - but essentially as said above she needs to get it out of her system. Which she will. It's horrible but we all have to go through it!

Thank you both

I've told her that I'm here if/when she wants to talk, vent, rant, go shopping, get new hair etc. but I'm keeping a distance.

Yes as PPs have said, just let her get on with it. Tbh, it is inevitable that you will be dumped at some point in life so it's quite positive her first experience is a relationship she wasn't particularly bothered about.

Agreed with PPs, leave her be. She will have a lot to think about at the moment and she’s probably just best left alone without the fuss for now.

Give it a week or two and she will likely feel more prepared to get back to normality.

Sounds like she’s just pissed he got there first. Does she have a bit of an ego?

@AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale

Sounds like she’s just pissed he got there first. Does she have a bit of an ego?

I think this is it- she's a bit miffed that he got there first. I think she was hoping for a mutual agreement that they weren't right for each other but, instead, she's found herself on the end of a "you're not right for me"! I think she wants him to know that the relationship wasn't working for her either but she doesn't want to seem defensive IYSWIM.

She doesn't particularly have an ego issue. I mean, no more than any 17 year old young woman

In that case you would Be doing her a massive favour to point out that she had exactly the same intentions to end it as he did and it doesn’t make it personal that he got there first, that he actually did her a favour bu doing the hard bit (saying the unpleasant “it’s over” bit) and that she should be skipping down the road because she is now free to kiss more frogs!

That's a really good point actually, that he was the one who had to do the hard bit. I will most certainly point that out to her

I think she's also, probably mostly TBH, pissed off because she was planning a massive hairstyle change but she now feels she can't do that because it'll look like stereotypical "heartbreak haircut".

Ooooh, the drama

oh the break up hair dilemma!