Please help don't know what to do with 17 year old son.

[Benji13]

My lovely son is 17 and I'm lower sixth form.
He is a sociable lad but over the last 6 months has said he is depressed. He says he doesn't know why and he is now going to weekly counselling sessions. He's up and down.
I feel we are treading on eggshells with him as he threatens to 'kill myself' if we get tough over things - including nagging him to tidy his room.
He takes money sometimes from his older brother, along with aftershave and takes drink from our cupboards. He has done this reapeatedly despite us shouting and threatening. Tonight I've found dhs new bottle of gin - a birthday gift half empty in his bedroom draw. I just am at a complete loss as to what to do - where on earth do we go from here??? I'm so disappointed and frustrated.

He sounds sad and mixed up and this must be such a worry for you.

Have you talked with his tutors at all to see how he presents at college?

Is the counselling private? Is it someone you have faith in? What does he say about it?

I understand the shouting and threatening; but it is worth making sure that each day you tell him you love him, however trying his behaviour has been. He will shrug and look embarrassed but he will take the message on board.

Depression in teenage boys is not something to take lightly; and clearly you are not. Has he seen the GP?

I feel for you and hope he will be feeling better soon.

Thank you for your reply. Yes College are up to speed. He's doing just ok not awful not great. The counselling is via bupa as the wait list for nhs was very very long. He says it's helping. He's had 8 sessions so far. He doesn't want to take meds but has agreed to discuss it with his counsellor this week.
I tell him how much I love him as you suggest. He's always been such s happy boy and this has been such a shock to us. He can't seem to find his way and as you say is very mixed up. I just worry that drink and drugs may well help him cope/escape. The lying and stealing is hard to cope with too.

Take him to the doctor. He probably needs antidepressants. They are NOT addictive, and the most common one, with a lot of success, is CITALOPRAM. When my 2nd son was 19, he was very depressed. He wouldn't get a job, sign on, or go back to college. He used to stay in bed until 2pm (when I got home from doing my care job).

I made the GP appointment, drove him there, went in with him, told the doctor everything, and Citalopram was prescribed. My son hated all the "over-bearing way" I was, but later thanked me. He was on the tablets for about 9 months, under GP guidance.

He's now 34, has his own house, car, a very well-paid job, great social life. Your son needs proper help.