DS happy to play on Xbox and never goes out!

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My son is 14, and is looking forward to sitting in his room all summer and playing online on his xbox.
He is pretty sporty, part of football and cricket teams, but a little clumsy socially.
We live remote (perhaps 10 min bike ride) from his friends. They dont really call and he doesnt really call for anyone ' apparently no-one plays out'.
We are already rowing 2 days in about how much time he spends online.

• I am forcing him to text people and apparently being 'really stressed out' by forcing him to go out and find people! am I ? is this the new normal? what can I do?

Dd is 14 and on her Xbox most of the time, as are all her friends. Online is the new youth club!
We have a few days out planned but she’s free to do what she wants the rest of the time.
Ds is 13 and out all the time at the skating park with his pals.

My teen has barely emerged from her pit of doom ( she has been interacting with people though via long face time calls) week into hols 1 sleepover done, cinema with me her friend and her friends mum, she has planned swimming today. Her hobby will take up hours of the week once it starts again in September so if she wants a lazy summer I'm fine with it. I've accepted that at nearly 15 she doesn't want days out to zoos and splash parks with her younger siblings all the time - friends are so much more fun. We call it Kevin mode here - it switches on and off very unexpectedly.

Practicallyperfect that was really helpful because I'm having a hard time transitioning from finding things to do with the dcs to them wanting to play on Xbox all day. But this thread has been so helpful as I worry it's just my dcs that want to plug into electronics all day! I'm going to sit in the garden and read my book while they're plugged in!

It is the new normal . Please don't stress and upset yourself over it... my son is nearly 18 and doing A Levels ... he is still a cave dweller a lot of the time .. but he got rid of X Box, sees friends, goes to the gym .. He was exactly the same at 14... i would nag him to see friends .. I think they were all on Xboxes !! ... I think we find it weird because Xboxes weren't invented when we were young !!! We had to go out ! .... I used to really worry all the time but he got over it !!!

At 14 my ds was like Alicatzs. Didn't make plans and sat around homme playing xbox at every opportunity. But we did limit it. Hid df dragged him off playing golf / fishing/ swimming and he went reluctantly but enjoyed it. Roll on another few years and he was constantly out meeting friends or they were all over the house here . Its like at 14 they can't plan and no one wants to be first to make a suggestion to meet.
Ds now travelling abroad this summer with gang of friends and not an xbox in sight.
I wouldn't mention friends or activities outside the house but l would insist on a few hours every afternoon xbox free. He can stare into space if he wants but my ds would have banging a ball off a wall in the garden or read the paper if nothing else to do.
This time will pass.

It seems also that the definition of "all day" varies. Some will call it all day even when they go out for 30 min a day, others will say they don't sit on the Xbox all day as they go out every day for 30 min.

To tell them to stop while they are in the middle of a game will only end up with a row. I usually tell them they need to eg get some milk from the shop at some stage during the day.

I just don't want them on screens all day and I mean all day, they don't have to go out anywhere although they do have to walk to the shops if they want treats.

My ds is similar.

Unless we have plan si let him stay on his xbox with the following conditions;
He gets out the house once a day - even if its to the shops or walks the dog.
He showers every morning and gets 'up'.
He does one chore a day (two if i'm at work.

No answers but my DS 14 the same. Usually in the holidays he used to meet up with pals for a game of football or go into town. This summer he has been gaming a lot. We've encouraged him to do something else each so he's had game of golf with DH, swimming, golf range, dog walking, out for lunch, cinema but all with us or other family. We had a week away as well and for most of that he just lazed about. The pals have only met up twice and none of them seen that keen in going out much. He is trying to get a paper round too which would be 1 day a week. Normally he plays football 4 times a week and it will be starting back soon but he would be gaming or watching Netflix all day long if he could . I think it's a bit of an awkward age for them xxx

Yes it’s the new normal unfortunately. I had exactly the same problem for about five summmers in a row. I would force him to do things with the family and go to the shops, cut the grass, visit relatives etc. I did a thread on it recently and was called ‘limited’ and ‘controlling’ by some posters! Keep pushing him to do things but try hard not to let it escalate to stressful levels or for rows to happen. Are you going away anywhere as a family to break up the time?

And even more tricky if both parents work full time and kids are old enough to be at home on their own. We go through phases of this, I try not to say too much but DS knows I don't like it and don't think it's healthy.

Mind you my DS appeared at my office last week with GF and the dog - they had walked into town to see me and check if I needed any shopping. I nearly died from shock at DS voluntarily walking any distance!

Mind has to do chores first. Cook/bake/change his bed/hoover or whatever. Also something physical to balance out the inactivity. Football, a swim or cycle usually. He will ususally bake or do sport with siblings or mates