banning devices after 9pm - is this reasonable

[pkhan]

Both my 14 year old son and 13 year old daughter are pretty vile and I've shed many tears wondering where I went wrong. I feel a lot has to do with their obsession with their devices. Son is gaming all evening until around 9.30/10pm and daughter constantly on phone with friends or watching some make-up thing on youtube. Their behaviour seemed to have worsened since they had these devices - always in their room and want little to do with me apart from feed them, give them money, taxi them everywhere, wash their clothes and be their general skivvy! I have decided to get them back into reading books and spending some time in evening with me and dad to ban use of all devices from 9pm. They have reacted with a riot. Anyone else have experience they can share over such bans?

The teenage years are bad enough without the issues that tech brings.
My friends nephew has practically thrown his life away addicted to the Xbox. He’s 21, still at home, failed numerous exams, failed to get into college and no work so far as he’d rather be on his Xbox in his bedroom than do anything else. It’s a real shame.

I’m quite strict with my boys. Eldest is 13 so I’m in control still. Screens are only for an hour on school days and they switch off at 8. They do end up reading as there’s not much else to do before bed.

Hello Noeuf
no easy solution just some moral support- have had same issues it’s a constant battle and at the moment I’m worn down by it. Sorry that’s no help but you’re not alone!

Thank you. I feel so tired and useless.

Off now to enforce the 9.30pm rule.

Sorry op for highjacking. Hope you feel less alone.

I have a 15 year old and a 12 year old, both boys.

Ds1's mobile is next to me because he is 15.

Rule is 9pm cut off for all tech for him. He then reads for a bit before going to sleep.

He understands we pay for his mobile phone contract, there are rules re tech and family time which includes meals are eaten as a family, no food in your bedrooms at all or drinks unless water.

Homework is to be done when they come in from school and then they can game. They are both outstanding students so are allowed to play for 1hr 30 mins before dinner. I am a SAHM so am here to monitor it all.

On weekends they do play more but again as long as homework is done and chores they are free to do it. But we do play games as a family, watch tv and films together and they do an extra curricular activity 2 weeknights a week. So there is some balance.

Ds1 has taught himself guitar and rubix cube for fun. Ds2 is using a computer game to learn engineering skills and watches educational science stuff on YouTube. So there is balance.

It is shit being the parent who says no. There are no 18 rated games in the house, they go to bed before 10pm when all their mates are messaging each other until 2am but they do know that we care about them enough to be checking these things.