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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 year old struggling with self esteem after boyfriend dumped her by text

3 replies

villarenter30 · 30/06/2018 18:08

17 year old daughter been with 19 year old Boyf 10 months . He’s gone on lads holiday for week . She tells me while there he was texting, calling telling her how much he missed her loved her etc . Two days before due home she text him asking why he hadn’t replied to her text she said he totally flipped saying he didn’t want to be with her never wanted to see or speak to her again. She called him he told her everything he had said to her he never meant. And he wanted to be single even though most of the boys he was with had girlfriends He came home a day later.found out he has had a bereavement which he knew was coming . He text my daughter told her of the death and said he didn’t want to see or speak to her . She text him expressing her condolences a few times but also asked a few questions on the her and him situation. He’s replied saying she’s a selfish cow for mentioning in light of the death and blocked her on everything. So she cannot contact him My daughter feels absolutely rock bottom wondering what she did in the first place and now because he thinks shes selfish and has literally cried for a week . More or less locking herself in her room in all this weather and blaming herself

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Japonicaisstillahorsygirl · 30/06/2018 18:46

I tend to be cynical and would suspect that he ended in such a way because of something he did whilst on Holliday and he is weak and wants to take the easy way out by not ending the relationship face to face. I think you should tell her that it’s not something that she has done it’s not her fault. He is being weak not her and it’s poor of him to basically gaslight her about it with the bereavement. She should not try to contact him now it’s time to walk away. Try to build up her confidence could you do something nice together to get her out of the house lunch or a facial.

Japonicaisstillahorsygirl · 30/06/2018 18:49

Also suggest that you don’t focus or mention on what he might or might not have got up to on holiday. Go for the mum and daughter time

villarenter30 · 30/06/2018 23:45

Got to be honest that’s my feeling - he’s done something and just felt guilty and flipped instead of coming clean and the the bereavement just compounded it all

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