Son said he wants to live with his dad

[Howshallihandlethis]

That’s it really. I think I said all the right stuff. I said of course I wasn’t upset and it completely natural and we both want him to be happy etc. Secretly I’m absolutely gutted. And I know it’s selfish.

I suppose I just want to hear some positive stories of how this has worked and I suppose some sort of reassurance that this is OK and not because I’m a shit mum.

No experience OP but I'm sure you're not a shit Mum! Has his dad agreed to have him full time? How often does he currently see his dad and will he swap contact so you and he still see each other regularly?

I'm sure others will be along with experience to help

You aren't a shit mum.

I have no experience of this other than from my own parents divorce. They split when I was very young and I was never given a choice, it was just assumed I would live with mum, for years I wanted to live with dad because me and DM clashed in my teen years and had some awful fights. I spent a summer living there and realised the grass isn't always greener. I moved home to DMs again.

As hard as it is to have your world rocked like this don't guilt him into staying. It may do wonders for your relationship or he may, like me, realise that just because it's different doesn't mean it's better.

Thank you both :)

No id never guilt him Barry. In a way I don’t blame him. We’ve been living with family since the split. So it’s not unexpected really. I know it’s not about me... it’s brand new territory...

Anne his dad desperately wants him to move in. I feel a bit bereft at the idea. It’s silly and selfish...