holidays with lone teenager

[wellhonestly]

For the first time since DS2 was born, we will not have his older brother with us when we go on holiday, and I want him to have a good time. His brother is abroad and can't get the time off.

We have done loads of "activity" holidays with both boys in the past, but they had got to the stage where all they want to do is laze around with WiFi.

This time we have chosen a small hotel with a swimming pool in a small Italian town, easy access by public transport to lots of different places, with the idea that he can chill out if he wants, or come with DH and me to "see the sights" if he wants to.

DS2 has been a bit grumpy about the choice of venue as he would have preferred a villa with private pool in the middle of nowhere - we did look extensively, but there was nowhere cheap enough where I wouldn't have had to drive (have done it before in Italy more than once, definitely don't want to do it again!). I haven't automatically assumed he would want to come to this hotel/town, he had the choice to stay home but he has chosen to come. We are going on a "bigger" holiday in October with his brother.

I know he will miss his brother even if he doesn't acknowledge that. He is not super-social with strangers (has never had to be), he has never been the kind of boy who would clear off with a gang of peers for hours on end and he's maybe a bit old for that anyway. Soooo - how can I make sure he still has a good time? Any tips?

Are we missing a trick?

Forgot to say, DS2 is 17. And sorry the post was so long!

TBH i’m really surprised a 17 year old lad is still going on holiday with you.

I would stop pandering to him. He was ‘grumpy’ because he wanted a villa with a private pool. Well if he’s paying for it fine, if not he should be grateful that you’re pYing for him.

This is a classic example of ‘snowflake generation’ - overly sensitive, entitled, feel like they need special treatment.

He chose to go. It’s not upto you to make sure he has a good time, he needs to do that himself. He’s not a toddler who needs to be entertained. Upto him.

My parents stopped paying for me from age 18 and started going with friends instead as I was working.Id just tell him he's lucky to be going abroad and to suck it up tbh

Aww I hope my kids are still coming on holiday with me when they are 17. It's not that old.
I think what you are doing is fine. He can stay at the hotel by the pool or go sightseeing with you. Are there activities like kayaking or rafting or anything you could organise for a day if you or his dad fancy it?
Other than letting him bring a friend there's not much more you can do.

Can he bring a friend? DS is an only and we have brought a friend along for the last few years. This year we are off to Greece for ten days and taking his two best friends and then taking another friend away with us in August.

Oh my god some people!

My DD is 17 and is coming on holiday with us, it's quite normal to still include teens in family holidays, what with them still being part of the fam and all that.

In terms of ensuring he enjoys it, gather info about local stuff to do and make a plan together

Water park anywhere nearby? They love em!

My DS (19) still comes on some holidays with us, but for the past few years he has been much more into the ones where we are travelling around different cities and he can take himself off for hours or a day at a time. He would be much less into lazing around by a pool, though could cope if there was wifi.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do to make sure he has a good time - that is largely up to him. Maybe take one of the more absorbing board games (strategy type ones like Seven Wonders or Pandemic) for you all to do in the evenings? Or one of the 'escape room in a box' things?

And at that age, I'd be encouraging some independence so for example setting him a challenge to plan a day out to somewhere interesting for you all, including working out public transport. Or going off by himself.

I too hope my kids will always want to go away with me once a year, as adults and maybe with my future grandchildren in tow too! No one grows out of a family holiday surely!

Personally I would suggest to him to bring music, magazines and games. Let him know he's more than welcome to come sight seeing and then leave him to it. If he has had a busy year at school, he might welcome the chance to really chill out. Have a lovely time!

Totally agree with Northern Spirit.

Northern Spirit's 17 year olds might not have wanted to go on a family holiday but my 18 year old still does - and he's planning on coming next year too!

He has independence and input into what we do as a family and can go off to do stuff on his own or with his sister.

I'd ask your DS what he'd like to do. Let him know he can come out with you or chill at the hotel as he wishes. Give a list of the sights that you're seeing and maybe Google 'with teens' so find some more unusual sights or experiences where you're going.

Then every day he's chosen what he's doing rather than being dragged along anywhere.

DS2 has been a bit grumpy about the choice of venue as he would have preferred a villa with private pool

🙄

Finallyhere -
I knowwwwww, right?

Family holidays can work for all ages. Mine always came on family holidays as teenagers. In fact my 20 and 22 year old still come on holiday with us occasionally. However they have each other's company to go out where they want during the day or evening. I have taken just the younger one once or twice but he likes doing the same things as DH and me.
I would offer to take a friend.

I think its great that he wants to go with you and that you are thinking about his changing needs as he grows up. He sounds like he has a good life! I hope my kids keep coming away with us. He'll find something to occupy himself no doubt.

Thanks everybody for all the advice, has given me some good pointers.