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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Useless mom

7 replies

Radom · 19/06/2018 22:43

I sat downstairs feeling helpless and that I’ve failed as a parent my 12 year old has been feeling sad for a few months now I honestly thought she was turning into a moody teenage then got a phone call from school saying she had cut herself I spoke to her about it she told me how bad she was feeling but swears she’s not being bullied,that she likes school and Home etc and is confused why she feels this way.i made doctors appointment he referred to cahms but next appointment not till next month but she told me talking had helped and would open up more to us yet I’ve received phones from two of her friends parents concerned as she sent one a message saying she wants to word to end but second one was the most heartbreaking she had not only gone and hurt herself again she had uploaded it online.we are talking to her trying to stay calm love her tell her we will do anything if she thinks it will help but im drowning im so out of my depth I don’t know if im handling it right I want to scream and shout as my beautiful girl shouldn’t be feeling this way and I just want to fix it and can’t!! What does help is the doctor telling her it normal for this generation so what I don’t care if it is it shouldn’t be for any child life shouldn’t be so stressful they can’t cope and just be children!! I know I need to be strong for her but I honestly don’t know how to be or what the right things to be doing or saying are I’m heartbroken she’s my baby xx

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Radom · 19/06/2018 23:08

I’m quite new on here it says I’ve got a reply but I can’t see it so sorry if it you and hope you don’t think I’m rude but I’m not sure how to quite do things on here yet.

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FranKubelik · 19/06/2018 23:30

I'm sorry you're going through this and you're really not a useless mum.

I don't have any direct experience of this and hopefully someone will see this who can be more helpful. I did a search and found the NSPCC website which has a self harm section providing advice and details of contacts for support, if you haven't seen it already.

Radom · 19/06/2018 23:40

Thank you I just can’t stop crying and my husband as just throw up out of worry about her we have been researching anything we can find it just keeps saying it normal for this generation which just concerns me more to be honest.we need find an some information about things to do instead of cutting which I think we are going to show her and see if it’s helps but at the moment I feel like next month is such along way away for the help and support she’s needs and deserves as clearly we can’t help as her parents which breaks my heart as does knowing people are most likely gossiping about her which isn’t fair she’s clearly crying out for the help but it’s not fast enough.would be so much easier if I could find a cause for it as then maybe there would be something I could do to fix it but I keep telling her she can tells us anything and she promises that she doesn’t know why xx

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Takethemdown · 19/06/2018 23:47

I have been shocked at just how many of my children's friends are doing this, crazy amounts of the girls.
You seem to have got the ball rolling but I can recommend Young Minds if you need to talk to someone.

Radom · 19/06/2018 23:58

Takemedown the doctors said it would be young minds if cahms didn’t accept her the doctor contact them today and to be fair they phoned today to make the appointment but are so busy next one isn’t till next month it’s so shocking it seemed like the doctor was pretty much telling me it’s so normal for this generation like I shouldn’t be to concerned it’s their way of coping I really don’t think it should be anyone’s way of coping let alone a 12 year old child who is a beautiful young lady I know I’m biased as her mom but she truly is inside and out who I know is going to hate herself in years to come if she leaves herself with scars etc I don’t what that life for my girl having to be ashamed about having a hard time I’m just heartbroken it’s happening to her already I feel life is hard enough as a adult she should be care free having fun.i find myself wanting a mouthy teenager who thinks they know it all lol not this poor girl feeling so bad she wants the world to end xx

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Radom · 20/06/2018 00:16

Thank you both I’m off to see if I can manage any sleep as unfortunately the school run work etc don’t stop or stand still just cause we are hurting really wish could just take it from her or at least pause time or something till hopefully someone or something can help her.

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Radom · 22/06/2018 10:23

How do I stop being so worried how she is everyday I'm in fear she's going to do it again

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