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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Good teenagers

34 replies

Bubblenut · 19/06/2018 00:12

Does anyone have a 17/18 year old who is actually a pretty good teenager? Might make a few mistakes but is generally happy and not rude or moody all the time?

OP posts:

Monty27 · 19/06/2018 00:16

One of mine, DD was stunning and still is at 25. Ds another story but getting better at 22.
Aw they're all different.

carnivalisover · 19/06/2018 00:24

Yep, sorry, 19year old lad, never rude, never moody. Can be bit lazy, messy, naive, but on the whole, easy to live with and not a problem. Whereas his 13 y o sister..OMG.

Fanjango · 19/06/2018 00:28

Yes. My eldest is 18. We may have had s few issues over college but he's really a very lovely boy/man. He made it to 18 without sending me loopy, getting drunk or arrested. Result

MsDidoTwite · 19/06/2018 00:29

Mine's only 13 but is a top lad and always has been

Monty27 · 19/06/2018 00:30

Why op?

Fanjango · 19/06/2018 00:30

Mines also putting up with asd son and two sisters. One a stroppy teen, the other a preteen with issues (possibly asd) so the fact we've made it this far is a miracle

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/06/2018 00:31

I have two. One nearly 18 and the other nearly 17. Again they can be a bit lazy and messy but never argue or are moody and are generally happy. Immaculately behaved, work hard at school and are generally pretty nice to be around. It's probably 95% luck but I'm claiming it's good management!

WaxOnFeckOff · 19/06/2018 00:34

DS2 was a stroppy toddler and pre teen though. He grew out of it when he became a teenager.

French2019 · 19/06/2018 00:34

Well, mine is only 13, and she does have her moments, but overall she is fab! Self-motivated, really kind and thoughtful, genuinely appreciative and loads of fun.

Tbh, most of her friends are really good kids too. And I used to work with older teenagers (around 16-19yos), many of whom were absolutely bloody fabulous.

Some kids go through a horrible teenage phase and then (in most cases!) come out the other side. Others are genuinely lovely all through their teenage years and don't deserve the bad rep.

Original poster

Bubblenut · 19/06/2018 08:02

I’m wondering if it is different for girls and boys? My daughter was an amazing girl all the way to 16. Everyone would compliment me on her kindness, behaviour, great sense of humour etc Now she is 17 I genuinely thinks she utterly hates me. I’d be lucky if a week went by and she would shout at me for something. Drive me insane!

I just wanted to know if this was expected for girls at this age

OP posts:

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 19/06/2018 08:04

My DS is only 13 but he's great. He's a typical monosyllabic teenager but he's kind, caring and funny.

corythatwas · 19/06/2018 15:01

I'd say my just 18yo falls into this category. Doesn't spend much time with us but is pleasant and polite when he does. Not one of those super-performing young people you read about on MN but goes to his classes and is hoping for an apprenticeship. Does stay out late at night but is generally quiet and considerate when he comes home. Lazy but gets on with what he's meant to.

His sister at that age struggled with physical and MH issues and was very anxious but again not unpleasant. Just needed a lot of support.

Beamur · 19/06/2018 15:06

My SC's were both no trouble at all in their teens. I know quite a few teens via friends and an activity I volunteer for - huge mix of personalities, but nearly all of them are pleasant and engaging. Although I can imagine a couple of them being a handful for parents/teachers.

frenchfancy · 19/06/2018 16:31

My DDs (17 and 18) are lovely. I don't think they have shouted at me since they were about 11.

DramaAlpaca · 19/06/2018 16:38

DS1 was a very easy going teenager, he's just so laid back & relaxed and nothing seems to stress him out. He had his moments, as they all do, but generally was always a pleasure to have around.

His brothers were lovely, pleasant teenagers too, but both of them needed a lot more emotional support than DS1.

I don't know about girls as I don't have any, but one of my friends used to be regularly driven to tears by her teenage daughter's behaviour. Thankfully the daughter has now grown up into a lovely young woman who gets on well with her mum, but it took a while.

strawberryalarmclock · 19/06/2018 16:41

My dd is lovely. Shes 17, works hard, pulls her weight at home and is generally no bother.
She has a few close friends who she socialises with occasionally and also loves going out for dinner etc with me. I was a foul teenager, I honestly don't deserve her!

Undercoverbanana · 19/06/2018 16:42

My DCs are independent adults. DS and DD both had phases.

DS was uncooperative and grumpy for about a year but was doing well at school and not doing anything antisocial or worrying so we rode the tide and he’s now graduated, working in London, long term girlfriend, has healthy hobbies and good mates.

DD is at Uni. Went through a flouncy, bratty phase at about 13 (think American TV shows). Is now incredibly in tune with politics, environmental issues, has chosen to be baptised and has been with an amazing boyfriend for 3 years. Their relationship is really strong, mature and based on a friendship that developed at school. He is a brilliant young man.

They both give me hope for the future.

TheThirdOfHerName · 19/06/2018 16:50

The 18 year old is usually polite, mostly helpful, can be lovely but can also be moody and stroppy.

The 16 year old is always lovely, but his teenage angst phase may be still ahead of us.

The 13 year olds can be a bit variable.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 19/06/2018 18:25

Bubblenut - I hear ya! My DS is nearly 21 and a kind, gentle, undemanding soul. Tells me he loves me, lots of hugs etc. DD is nearly 18 and the complete opposite. Only speaks to me (nicely) when she wants something. A taker and often very unpleasant. ...........

That said - she is also feisty and independent whereas DS needs help to make super noodles. DD knows what she wants and usually gets it. DS can be a bit snowflake. I am hoping they both even out in the end

Runninglateeveryday · 20/06/2018 07:17

My DD literally gave me hell 13-16 she was excluded from school, smashed the house up was constantly screaming and swearing. She is 17 now and delightful which is a huge relief , she is chatty and considerate , works and is grateful for favours, she has the odd moment but nothing in comparison.

Theworldisfullofgs · 20/06/2018 07:19

My 16 year old dd was really hard work until 15. She's mostly lovely now and occasionally flares up. Then everything is unreasonable and unfair. It sounds like she's doing it all slightly later.

TumbleTussocks · 20/06/2018 07:24

Is this helping you, OP?

Angelicinnocent · 20/06/2018 07:25

My DS 19 is lovely and the worst teen thing he did was hide away in his room on an evening/weekend.

DD 16 is also lovely and has never really done the moody teen thing. Gets a little bit snappy with exam stress etc but always apologises afterwards.

Fflamingo · 20/06/2018 07:25

We were good teenagers (or at least what we got up to we kept quiet about) because DF was an alcy and we didn't want to make life any harder for DM. This was in the days before people spoke of co-dependency.

Ledkr · 20/06/2018 07:29

Mine can be arses and are typically messy and lazy...however, they are/have all been kind, compassionate and hard working.
My 3 adult sons are hilarious, terrific fathers and partners and my teen daughter will be fine once she's learned that the world doesn't owe her a living

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