Strange guy messaging my 14 YO DD chat group

[ScaredyCat42]

My DN has messaged me to say that my 14 YO DD is in a group with two school friends and one of the school friends has introduced a guy into it that none of them know who says he is 20 and is going through a break up with his girlfriend. My DD is suspicious of this guy and wants her friends to start another group that does not involve this guy but her friends don't want to do this. I obviously need to talk to my daughter about this but my DN has asked I do not let my DD know she has told me. I am not sure how to broach this now without betraying the confidence of my DN, I also (and more importantly) don't know the right avenues of dealing with the guy who thinks its ok to approach three 14 YO girls. If indeed he is even 20 YO and who he says he is. If there is anything more sinister to this I don't want him to be able to go off and join another group of girls. Does anyone have any advice? Many thanks for reading

Are the girls all at the same school? I would definitely get the school involved. You could say that you noticed a notification come through and you don’t recognise the boys name and ask who he is? Start the conversation that way. You definitely need to see these messages and suss out what the man has said and how he has behaved.even if he hasn’t actually said anything it is very very wrong for him to be contacting the girls. Once you have ascertained the content you can then contact the police. If your dd is wanting to start a new chat then she obviously feels uncomfortable and will probably welcome any support you can give. It sounds like she is sensible!

Just tell your DD that one of the other parents has found out about it and contacted you?

Or ask to see the group chat messages as a routine check on social media?

Or go direct to police with the information you already have. This screams grooming.