Dick pics and porn- where do you stand?

[AnneTwackie]

My 13 yo son has sent naked pictures to a girl in another school, they’ve got out around his own school and it’s causing him a lot of trouble. All the advice online and from school seems to be that this is normal behaviour and to help him feel better. I’ve taken his phone and he used my computer for homework, then I found porn sites on the history. Again, all the advice seems to be this is normal and not to over react. I have spoken to him about how porn is unrealistic and often perpetuates abuse of women and how stupid sending nudes is, he seemed mature and agreed so I’m shocked he sent the pictures and thought it was ok to look at porn, on my computer, whilst he should be doing homework.
I’m disgusted with him, I think he deserves the hassle he’s getting at school, I don’t feel any of this is normal, I’m angry and upset and the trust is completely gone. I don’t understand why he’s not really ashamed. Is this my problem? I just feel the advice is too liberal, does anyone agree?

[Andro]

the focus was all on how sending it harmed the boy himself.

Teenagers can be very self-absorbed; as distasteful as the focus may be, it may well be the case that the piece was geared towards protecting teens from themselves. That being the case, it does make (some) sense that the spotlight was on the damage done to the perpetrator. A companion piece highlighting the legalities, damage to recipients and the impact of being branded a sex offender while a young teenager would provide more balance though.

[Inamadrush]

Unfortunately it is very common. My 16 year old daughter received one the other night totally unsolicited. She has had them previously as have many girls in her year. She has also seen nudes doing the rounds that girls have sent to lads who have them passed them around. She was shocked at some of the girls photos she has seen because in her words "They are really quiet and nice".

[MargoLovebutter]

Sending nudes is rampant at the schools my DC go to. My DD has been sent more cock pics than she ever wants to see in her life! She blocks every boy that does this & there are LOADS.

Girls also send nudes too, particularly boob shots.

Your son is not a freak OP and no doubt he is getting a really hard time of it at school. I'm sure he won't do it again!

I've had long chats with both my two about using the internet & social media wisely. I've reminded them that anything they put out there can be screen shotted and is there potentially for the rest of their lives to pop up at an inopportune moment. I always suggest to mine that they sense check in their heads anything they put out online and ask "what would granny think and what would my headteacher think?" if they get that squirmy feeling that neither of those two characters would approve - then don't put it out there. That definitely includes nudes!!!!!!

[AnneTwackie]

Thanks @margolovebutter that’s unfortunately quite reassuring!

[Nb65988]

First of all the school has seen ure son nakec and what exactly are they doing about and why are mobile phones allowed in school he knew when he sent it that people would see it and he doesn't care well good for him hes getting some hassle but there will be someone else doing it next week he was in the wrong for it and he needs a punishment for it but a punishment that will mean something so he doesn't do it again and the porn thing how embarrassing for ure mum to come in and confront u about using porn if u seen u should have put the locks on computer and not said a thing u now have a ternager who next move is oral sex az the teenagers are ok n competition with each who can do it first then it's the love bites and then he's 14 and it's time for sex high school is crazy not like our days its scary they are upto all sorts think about it he's sending and receiving naked pics watching porn he's on his way all guys watch porn they don't need to embarrass him and buy him condom's

[Biologifemini]

It might be common but it isn’t normal.
I really wouldn’t minimise this as he will get into hot water when he is older and not be able to conduct a healthy relationship.
Who wants to be in a relationship with a chap who sends dick pics?
Schools need to stamp this out and stop minimising it.

[pasanda]

My dd14 has shown me a couple of the dick pics she has received along with a video of one particular dick ejaculating

She gets them all the bloody time. And is asked for 'nudes' in return. She says it's totally normal and all the boys do it. Same as BJ's are ten a penny.

It's fucking depressing.