How sociable are your teenage sons?

[mumblechum]

My ds is q. sociable when he gets going but never actively picks up the phone to organise anything. He's 12 now but I still phone his mates' mums to invite them round, or to cinema etc.
If it was up to him he'd never see anyone outside school.

He does see village friends maybe once or twice a week, but rarely socialises with the kids at school, all of whom live between 4 and 10 miles away.

What are your lads like? do they go out round town on a Saturday with their friends? Invite them round for tea after school? Ever phone each other? (my ds does get phoned for gaming advice but that's it!)

MSN MSN MSN - and online computer games. They are quite sociable though but they make arrangements at school, via MSN or text and not via the home telephone (apart from sports fixtures).

World of Warcraft, Age of Mythology, and occasional meetups with friends. Needs to be goaded into making arrangements......

OK, maybe I should reframe the question.

My ideal weekend:

ds off at friend's house, or has a friend here, or go off together for a swim/cinema etc.

Dh and I sit in garden reading and contemplating opening a bottle of wine & cracking up the BBQ.

Result in my little fantasy : everyone happy.

Reality (w/e just gone

DS wandering round, between Playstation, PSP and telly, totally refusing to phone any of his friends (and he does have quite a few).

Me sounding EXACTLY like my mum "why don't you go and get some fresh air and exercise? See if XYor Z want to go and play on the green. Phone A B or C and I'll take you to the pool...."

DH " fgs woman, read this book on non violent communication and get off his back!"

Result: Everyone pissed off, crap weekend (again).

Do I or do I not need a kick up the arse & to shut up, or should I carry on trying to arrange my almost 13 year old's social life?

Don't spare my feelings, girls.

I have given up trying to sort out ds's social life, it is just too wearing....

I just leave him to it, which means he doesn't do much. I am just the taxi service

Like the sound of your weekend, but we have 3 teenagers (although I suppose one is now a young adult) all boys.

They don't seem to have much social life at all tbh except the 20 year old. They seem to prefer mooching around the house, getting in the way and ensuring that we have no time alone together at all.

And as for some afternoon nookie.....absolutely no chance of that, they never ever go anywhere all at the same time

This all sounds very familiar!

Ds1 is 13 and always seems to wait for his friends to contact him to go out. He'd happily sit in front of his computer or x-box for hours.

I've given up pushing him to make arrangments. When a friend asks him to go out he's more than happy to go but is never the one to instigate it.

He chats to his friends on msn most days so I'm not concerned that he's not a social butterfly. He's just lazy I think.

I have 4 sons and they are all very sociable - the door never stops knocking and friends either in or them out .... but there is a downside to that too - always having someone else in the house - weekends pals staying over,and if they have one friend each that is a lot of bacon to fry the next morning!
Your DS is young yet -he will set his own levels - and nagging him will dig his feet in and do less IMO

Cheers, MNers. I know I need to chill about it. A lot of the prob. is that he's an only child so I always feel guilty if he's not doing anything either with us or his mates.

I've decided to leave off making any arrangements or suggesting any for two weeks.

Ta

fizzbuzz, afternoon nookie is care of msn for those not out at sporting or social fixtures. - I love msn, and I've never been on it

I used to feel the same about ds1 13. Up until about 4 months ago he spent all his waking minutes on his xbox360, never left the house until he was forced. Then overnight it changed. I barely see him, the phone and the door bell constantly ring and he stays out as long as he is possibly allowed. I actually quite miss him but my god he is so temperamental now. Ds2 12 is a walk in the park in comparison.