teenage internet gaming addiction is there help out there

[Invisibleone]

I have a teenager 19 who is constantly gaming. he has been violent in the past but not now as I'm afraid to confront him; he just doesn't speak and stays in his room. I have searched for help ; doctors, Councillors but to no avail. I would like to have used boundaries and consequences when he was younger but my husband did not believe in this parenting method. I need support. please help

There is absolutely no help for this. You just need to ride it out with the least confrontation possible, let him know you love him and stay positive In your own life. It’s horrible as a mum but what else can you do? Does he go to college or work?

Kick him out. Anyone who's intimidating you with their history of violence needs to be out of your home.

He's 19. Not a baby. Let him figure out how to pay for his own wifi.

Me and DH are so scared of this with out DSs (13 and 10) that we've imposed a no gaming rule in our house from Monday to Friday. Gaming is only allowed on weekends. I'm scared that they won't have any memories. So Monday to Friday I basically kick them out of the house to make memories. We usually do something on the weekend as a family too.

Their attitude changes so much when they're playing on their games. Especially the 13year old. I won't put up with it and I'm hoping by doing something now it'll minimise anything worse when they're older.

It's scary.

You are probably correct Cleebope2 as I have searched. There are councillors who are charging £700 for 4hours, NHS do not acknowledge a problem. He does not leave house, went to school for a third of the time but nothing since. I have started over a year ago stepping back, avoiding confrontation to allow him to open up but no change. Need help

Lady misty, you are doing the correct thing, stick together and you with have a lovely family. Yes it is scary and rough being a parent

19 is a young adult..tell him to find a job help him rent a room and send him off on his way, you'll be doing him a favour in the long run.

How do I get him out? I've tried but he will not move out of room. I packed all his clothes etc and put in the car to stay elsewhere but I could not get him to leave. Police can't force them out I don't think,

I realise you are right and he has been encouraged/ told / helped on job/ course route but he can't sort one out. He does not interact with anyone, no friends. At this stage he looks thin, almost frail.

The thin and frail is v worrying too ..as well as not leaving house. Sounds like he v definitely needs help. Don't live in UK so no idea sorry what's available but I'd be checking any mental health services ... If nothing available I'd be concentrating on moving him out. What does ur dh think ? Would he help move him...

Maybe you could chat to your GP or get him to go.
He must have depression or something similar so maybe medication would work.

Dh only recently acknowledged there was a problem despite this going on from 13 years old, dh can't talk about it and constantly disagrees with me ( he doesn't believe in boundaries and consequences etc ) if I say to turn off internet for a while dh will say that our son will only keep hassle him to turn on, so for peace he will not do anything. I have been to GP and councillors: GP said son not 'bad' enough for referral as resources are stretched , and the cllr would not discuss with me due to "client confidentiality". I will try GP again ( this will be for the umpteenth time) as it seems like only support. I know son needs to be out of this house it is just getting him to realise his current escape method is damaging all.

There are some similar threads on parents of adult children if you have a hunt you may find other ideas. I often feel down that my son spends his life gaming and rarely goes out and DH is in denial a bit like yours. But your son’s situation sounds much worse than mine unfortunately.

We too have a 19 year old who hardly ever goes out and games most of the time. He 's in a rut, he's clever but flunked 6th year because of his addiction. Really trying to pressure him now to take active steps towards work or volunteering. Awful situation for all, have wondered if he's depressed but seems ok and not sure how to tell, what to do?

It’s a terrible worry for parents. My DS 19 has finally turned a corner I that he has moved into a house share with five mates so although he still games like mad in his room at least he is forced to socialise with his peers, go to the shops, cook together etc. I feel hugely relieved that he is no longer wallowing in the house. We pay his rent and bills as he has just finished first year of computer science at a local uni and is doing well. I think you should keep pressuring your son to find a job or start a new course maybe IT related and hope that eventually he will gain independence.

Dh now agrees we need to do something. Planned a talk with Ds for Sunday. Offering to help with getting job / course( as we have done so far) or give him notice to quit. Have looked up social services on homeless and accommodation, also court orders and now realise including dh that the police have to be involved. Also talked with GP and he has offered to visit DS at home but doesn't offer hope as if DS is not going to engage then waste of time. Hope dh will go through court and police with me and that ds leaves.

That sounds serious if you are thinking about a court order. How is it so bad? Can you not support him for another year or so to give him a while to mature or has he been abusive to you?

Well the planned discussion did not happen and D's still in house not talking eating with anyone and only leaving room to watch TV or shower. Will not engage about getting a job or course. Dh not willing to but pressure on just ignoring problem. DS will not talk/ listen to me just puts in earphones and says go away.

Have you tried giving him vitamin D supplements. Boots do chewable ones. He sounds like our 16 year old who hardly ever left his room and refused to visit the GP to test for vitamin deficiencies. One of the symptoms is lack of energy and you need sunlight to top up your vitamin D so I suspected he was likely to be deficient. He was reluctant as first but I said the whole family is taking them and after a month or so he has definatley improved a bit.