What would you do? Advice please.

[123fushia]

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DD -tall, slim, dark blonde and pale. Always in jeans. We did the rounds of the prom dress shops at Easter - she looked lovely in most of them. She decided on a silver grey chiffon dress, thin shoulder straps with a silver beaded belt. Elegant. It was too big so I paid for the dress and alterations. We returned for a fitting last week. Seamstress in the shop had taken in one side, and it still needed taking in and turning up. Made appt for final fitting next week. DD was very quiet and when we left the shop she cried and cried. She is a lovely, sociable girl who rarely cries. Finally got it out of her that she feels awful in it - very washed out and regrets choosing it. Trouble is....I almost agree. Not about the dress, but the colour. She is in the middle of her GCSEs and is coping with the stress of it quite well so far, but is upset and low about having made the choice that she did. It wasn’t cheap - £250. She knows that it is only for one night, and knows that it really shouldn’t matter- but it does. Simple as that. She is such a good girl and has worked hard on revision recently - no nightmares with her (yet!). I could tell her that she could choose another much cheaper one, as long as she works to refund me the £250. (Part of me doesn’t mind doing that if it relieves some of the worry that she has- especially during exam season.) I have booked her in for a gentle spray tan the night before her final fitting, hoping that will make some difference to the way she feels when she puts the dress on again. Advice please! What would you do? I can afford to replace it but am so conscious about teaching her that money doesn’t grow on trees etc. No idea what to say to the lovely seamstress in her lovely local shop. X

Coloured wrap with matching bag?

Dye it a different colour?

Can you not have it dyed?

I don't know about fabric, can you ye chiffon???

Can you phone the seamstress and if she hasn't don't the alterations yet (possible if your final fitting is next week) that you can return the dress and swap it for a different one?

Dye chiffon(not ye chiffon)

Oops sorry, just reread and saw that alterations have started

Apparently you can dye chiffon but depending on the type depends on whether it is blotchy... Do you know what type it is?

For a good kid, who works hard and can pay back some of the money through work or chores I would get a new dress. Let her reap the rewards for hard work.

Oh crap, I feel for ya'.
I would be thinking to splash it out with colour, too.

I’d replace it, she sounds like a good kid and this is the kind of thing she’ll remember forever and know that she can come to you with anything. As a one off I don’t think it will hurt her life lesson on money. Explain to her that you’re doing it because she has revised and is working hard so you want her to enjoy herself.

Are you sure she’s not crying about Syria? Or the latest school shooting in America? By all means buy her another dress if this one is not to her taste but I don’t see how making her pay for the £250 one that goes in the bin is going to teach her anything. I can’t imagine finding an outfit bringing me to tears unless I had severe depression and it was the last straw. GP?

Although it’s s Lit if money, I would offer a new dress, but get the fitting in this one finished too.
At this stage your DD might struggle to find something else she likes so at least the grey would be there as a backup.
and it may turn out to be a dress she returns to in a few years perhaps at a university formal event.

Oh, under those circumstances I'd let her have a new one and sell the one you have.

@Mmcanny or maybe just a teenage girl under the most pressure she's ever experienced who may be having typical teen body confidence issues who just wants to feel pretty.

@bobbiepin oh dear god! Why did I never experience such angst? I sometimes wonder if I’m not a REAL woman?! It’s a fucking dress!

Thank you for your responses everyone. I have had a good think about them all. We have talked about it and I’ve given her the chance to look for a replacement. She has found a lovely dark blue off the shoulder bridesmaid dress that looks exactly like a prom dress that she tried on a while ago. It costs....£40, and has 5 star reviews! Will order it today, follow up the last fitting appt, see how everything fits and feels and make a final choice.
Thank you for helping me to sort this everyone. Whether the grey dress gets sold, or worn.......prom ‘problem’ solved. Xxx

@MMcanny at that age the wrong "fucking dress" can mean the end of the world for an emotional teenage girl, or certainly do sent mean she has sever depression! In my experience it's totally normal to have such angst over stuff like this.
OP this actually happened to my DD, she didn't like the original after getting it altered so we sold it on ebay and bought another. She'd worked hard, is a good kid and I wanted her to feel comfortable and enjoy her night.

I would replace it too - sometimes we make miastakes and sometimes teens need to know that parents step up and help sort of problems.

Yes it's a minor problem but to teens it's their main focus at this time of year.

Some sites here donate/lend prom dresses to poorer students - maybe you could do that?

Good call. For such a good kid I would have replaced it too :) sounds like she already knows the cost of money

Great update op, hope the new dress is perfect for your DD

@Mmcanny maybe you just have more self esteem or an overrated sense of arrogance than others. Good for you. We're all jealous.

I’m with @Mmcanny - you did the rounds of shops and SHE chose a £250 dress (a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a 1 time dress for a child). It needs alterering (more money) and she’s now decided she doesn’t like it. So you’ve bought her another dress that she tried on ages ago.

For godssake - it’s a dress (and if this @Bobbypin is the most pressure a girl has experienced..... get a grip it’s a dress.... Hardly a major problem)?! Talk about snowflake generation.

And an expensive dress at that. What sort of values are you reaching her - that money grows on trees and a few tears and I get to choose another one?

Middle class problems.....

@northernspirit I was talking about her GCSEs being the most pressure she had experienced. It won't be the worst in her life, but it is the most so far.