My 14 year old DD's decisions

[mummy191]

My 14 year old (soon to be 15) DD has dated her boyfriend since she was about 12 or 13 and she recently came to me and told me that she had been having sex with him. She said they used a condom but I told her I was going to put her on the pill and we talked about unplanned pregnancy but I am just not sure how to handle this and if it needs to be stopped. I asked her and made sure that he did not pressure her in to it or vice versa and she said it was both of their ideas. I can not keep my eyes on them 24/7. What do I do about this?

You don’t get to “put her” on the pill. You can only advise her to go on it. The decision is hers.

Did she agree to the pill? You cannot watch them 24/7 and they will continue to have sex but if they are being safe either with condom and or pill and they are educated in all aspects of safe sex then that's all you can do really. At least you are aware now and not continuing sneak around behind your back

I was the same age as your DD when I started having sex. Looking back I was so so young but my parents were relaxed - my mum discussed going on the pill (which I did) and also always used condoms. They didn't encourage it but knew nothing could stop me. And that's the same advice I can give to you - you cannot stop it from happening so just ensure she knows she can always talk to you.

For what it's worth I was sexually active at 14 and 15, then didn't have sex again until I was 19. My DH is also the only person I have slept with without a condom. So starting "early" did not make me irresponsible.

You can't really"put her on the pill" but you can definitely encourage her to discuss it with the GP.

It seems young, I know. And you're concerned about the age of consent I'm sure. However, if it helps, I was that age as was my (respectful, loving) boyfriend of 8 months. We stayed together until we were 19 and are still friends now. A couple of my friends were just 15 too. We didn't go off the rails, any of us. Far from it.

She came to you looking for help.

First of all you talk to her about whether or not she actually wants to be having sex. She may have come to you in the hope that you will help her out of a situation. If you are happy that she is genuinely happy then you give her advice on how to be safe. Offer to go to the GP with her etc.

It's so scary this is what teenagers are like now at least it wasn't some random one nyt they have been in relationship for a while possibly should have waited but they didn't and she has came and told u which is great and yes if my 14 year old daughter told me she was having sex yes she would be going on birth control it's one thing to have sex but not a baby at. 14 the condom could split

How old is bf? Presumably she knows it is against the law.