Boosting teen daughters confidence

[Teaandbiscuits35]

15 yr old DD has serious confidence issues and I'm not sure what to do.

She was badly bullied to the point where we changed schools 2 years ago. It continued for a short while after and then slowly stopped. She now has a decent group of friends and is a school with a great pastoral care team. But every so often things will come up (attitude, lack of interest in school work etc) and it always comes back to her not feeling worthy.

We're very open and talk loads but nothing I say resonates. It's literally breaking my heart seeing her like this. She's spoken to a counsellor briefly but stopped because "it was pointless" and I can't force her to go. I tell her how wonderful she is all the time, I tell her specific things she's good at but I don't know what else to do.
Any advice really appreciated.

Sorry to hear your DD is struggling with confidence issues. I have DD the same age and I think she has really benefited from joining the Combined Cadet Force (CCF). It's been empowering for her, improved her fitness and self belief and has given her another set of friends within the local area outside of her usual school crowd.

It suggesting this is the answer but I do think having little pools of friends linked to different activities is helpful for teens. When there is drama going on in one group, it's not the end of the world when you have other options.

Hope someone else has better ideas.

I would encourage her to join extra curricular clubs. At school, or out of school. Just to keep her busy, and widen her circle of friends.
Would she do any voluntary work? I think charity shops will take them at 15 (just not allowed on tills until 16), summer Reading Challenge library volunteer, animal rescue centres etc. I would look at anything that would get her out and about in your community.

Thank you both. I love the idea of volunteer work. I've been encouraging extra curricular since she started school but she's not interested. She's agreed to take part in her school production so I'm hoping that will help. I just don't know how to make her feel better about herself.

CremeBrule I'm sorry your daughter struggles too. Cadets sounds great and I'll definitely be running that past her.

Your DD might be slightly too young (I think you need to be 16), but both my DC really gained confidence from working as waiters in our local pub/restaurant - lots of dealing with the public (good and bad) plus the added bonus of earning some money.

I can only vouch for cadets aswell. My DD is in air cadets and has benefited majorly. It is a bit more serious than CCF (the one in schools) from what i've heard but it's an incredible organisation.

It's a bit of a culture shock when they first join but after they realise that everyone is kind and like minded, she'll fit in well.

Sorry to hear this what about a makeover new hair style or colour get her short manicured nails get her eyebrows done and.gi clothes shopping with all that and walking into school she will feel a million dollars ano it's not all about the way u look but it can't half make u feel gd it's worth it for a smile also check there not something bothering her high school is like a pressure cooker she myt be worried about grades