Job

[WheelyCote]

I have a 17 year old son at sixth form who is avoiding getting a part time sat/sun job.
Pocket money stopped months ago (don't know why I was still paying it to a 17 year old). Pay as you go phone money stopped. No money towards his girlfriends presents etc and he was told that he needs to cover these himself and get to working.

How did you get your teen to get a job?? Any advice appreciated

What’s he doing for money at the moment? Have you as,ed him why he doesn’t want a job? Is he too anxious or spending too much time studying? Know it’s probably not the last one but it would be an acceptable excuse

I don't think forcing a dc who is in sixth form to get a job is a good idea. He is a full-time student and, if he is putting the hours in, is already working really hard.

If it was me, I'd reinstate the pocket money. In the summer holidays, it might be different, but during term time his main focus should be getting the best grades he can, which isn't easy.

We told our ds who had just turned 16 that he needed to get a pt job. He started pot washing and is now front of house in a great pub. He has been there for 20 months and loves it. he's is still at college and earning.
It is teaching him independence and the value of money. It has really brought him out of himself.
Best decision ever.

DD got a job at 16 to help fund a trip. Worked through A levels now self-funding at uni. Best decision we ever made.

Maybe I'm being mean😁

Jilted he's not doing anything for money at the moment therefor has none😁
He says it's because he has too much on with the constant tests he has in sixth form for a levels. He does study a lot..they do test continuously.

Some of his friends have jobs...which is why I've played the hard line.

I think a job would help give him independence too, something of his own.

Ihate and captain were your kids willing to get a job or reluctant?

We said go get a job during the summer holidays, he did without much drama and it’s continued. He loves having a very healthy bank account.

He is in full time education and dependent on you. You would still get Child Benefit for him.
I have no problem with the idea of a little part time work for the experience. Both of mine worked about 4 hours a week from aged 16 but I continued to pay them their full allowance.
They do have to work hard for A levels and they do have constant tests so more than a few hours could affect his grades.

Brokit a few hours Is what I want him to do...either a couple of hours to do or a sat or a Sunday job.

Yes I get child benefit for him still it goes to help pay living costs.

I work 6 days a week most weeks out of necessity the weeks I don't...it's because I'm burned out....I have a good job and profession.

4th to 6th year in high school I worked in McDonald's 25hrs a week if not more and that's round studying etc.

Can't be easy as jobs are difficult to find these days but the added money and responsibility would give him huge independence especially if driving became a thing

I think its a difficult one either way Op. only you can know your DS and his attitude to studying, but I do think the life skills they get are invaluable.

DS20 got a retail job in Feb of YR12, carried it on till end of A levels with no problem, picked up job in same company in spring of uni first year but then dropped it as he went into second year as it was full weekends. As he is doing a science course with a lot of contact time, he knew he would need weekends for uni work. It had, however, provided him with valuable experience for his CV and some money in his bank account.

DD, almost 18, was a different story. Less academic, she has been doing a Business BTEC and had to re-sit English Lang GCSE last year including all coursework. Last summer was her last chance to resit on old syllabus. Very stressful, and we knew she wouldn't cope with a job. She passed English, but did neglect her Business course a little - she has always been quite immature for her age which contributed to this.

She started looking for work in autumn, although I still had misgivings about her juggling work and BTEC. She managed to secure a job with large supermarket but fortunately it was xmas only.

She has also been learning to drive, struggled in passing theory, so didn't start looking for work again until recently, as she was nearing her practical. She has now been taken on by same supermarket chain as before, and passed test on Thursday. Great timing, she is independent getting there and earning some money to run a car.

I will add, we continued giving her an allowance through months when she didn't work.

All good, except she is already accepting extra shifts, when we feel she needs to give 100% to last few weeks of her Business course. Its difficult, she is not planning uni, but going to have a year out whilst she decides on next step, so wants this job to fund some volunteering, travelling, general growing up. We have been roundly told this evening to trust her, she will balance coursework and shifts. To be fair, she does have a lot of downtime in college course, not just weekends.

One thing I would say, my DS applied for year in industry jobs earlier this year. He found that interviews commonly ask for examples of teamwork, working under pressure, communications skills etc - all life skills that can be picked up from PT jobs. He asked for feedback from one unsuccessful interview, and part of it was that he didn't give enough examples of organisational skills. If someone who worked for almost 2yrs alongside A level and degree studies (and is the most organised person I know!!!) couldn't satisfy that question, then I wonder how others without any experience would fair?

My neighbour has a 19yo and 17yo, neither of which are interested in working. She is keen for eldest to work in uni summer hols, but says "I don't think he has done anything to try and get a placement or job of any kind".

You cant make them get a job if they don't want. The eldest is very bright and has stellar grades, but I do wonder what his CV will look like when he too is applying for a YII jobs. It is not only about high grades now. As so many other students have those, they have to be able to demonstrate other skills. We have been shocked at how few interviews DS got even for a YII, although he has got a placement in the end. I can only guess that post-grad jobs also want to see some life skills developed along the way too.

Sophie thanks for your input....interesting to see the difference depending on the child. Really agree with you when you said its not all dependant on grades nowadays...so true.

He is doing science subjects including physics which isnt his strong point but needs it for what he wants to do. I know he studies harder because of this.

Its nearly summer, I'll encourage him to get a summer job, whilst he hasn't any studies and then see how we go from there.

I think Im more concerned because he's dropped his hobbies...when he does apply for a uni place he'll have little to refer to when asked questions. Im going to think on this and have a sit down talk with him.

He might not have interviews for Uni. Applications will be about grades (GCSEs), then predicted grades and a personal statement that reflects interest in his chosen subject. If his hobbies are relevant to this than great (eg applying for a sports course and plays cricket), if not then will be irrelevant. Better to get some w/e or shadowing in a related field eg if science in a lab. Or find some lectures at a related society to attend (eg if Geography say, attend a public lecture at RGS) to round out and back up your interest in your subject. Or encourage reading around your subject -he could do.that in the summer in preparation for uni applications eg articles, latest research. Subscribe to a related journal and mention it in applications.

I started working my first proper job at 15, a part time job in a well known shop which I had practically full time hours in school holidays. This saw me through high school and I left at 21 and continued it when studying through college and uni. Realistically it is not hard to fit a job around studying, not a part time one anyway. I feel this is overplayed as an excuse. This would apply if more A levels were being taken than recommended, otherwise college timetables are fairly relaxed. Uni even more so.
That being said I also come from
A fairly poor family which has shaped my views. I never got pocket money etc and always paid for my own phone/driving lessons/school trips etc my first job was a little paper round at 13. Therefore I grew up knowing if I wanted something, I was paying for it myself. I find the idea of pocket money ridiculous but like I say, we are shaped by our upbringings.

Have you considered helping him apply for the jobs? It might not be a case of not wanting to work but not wanting to go through application after application. It can be a tedious process as we will all know.

Can any of his friends put in a good word for him at one of their workplaces? They’re will be lots of seasonal jobs coming up now with hopefully ideal hours

WheelyCote she was a bit nervous at first but once she started earning never looked back. The life skills she gained stood her in good stead for going to uni and have helped her survive quite a tricky first year.