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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Leaving children alone -going back to work

13 replies

ohh · 30/04/2018 09:19

I'm seriously thinking of going back to work full time as it's incredibly hard to get part-time (paid enough) work to justify doing it.

It's basically where we live. Have to drive anywhere or walk 20 mins to bus stop.

My thinking is start September as DS will be 11 and DD 15. Never been to work since DS born.

The job I'm looking at doing I am qualified for but it's old fashioned job that requires long hours but good pay.

My DH is looking at going part time. Thus way he can be home for the children either a few days or on the afternoon.

Do you leave your children alone during holidays? Clubs out of the question as I would have to drive them to it.

They do clubs at present but most holiday clubs start at 1000. DD not up until 1100 on holidays.

Juggling ideas.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 30/04/2018 09:21

do you have family or friends to assist?

Original poster
ohh · 30/04/2018 12:07

Hello Slartybartfast

All local friends work as well and children are either very young and in childcare or older.

No family near. Parents both deceased and sister disabled.

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 30/04/2018 12:17

I have DS and DD who are 11 and 13 and I am looking to do similar. 13 year old will be fine but 11 year old I'm not sure about until he is settled into secondary. Will be watching the thread with interest!

LupinsNotBluebells · 30/04/2018 12:34

We've found one local holiday club that starts at 9am but you can pay to drop them off at 8.30am. So many of these clubs are half day things, with a 10am start. I've never worked out how parents are supposed to get to work as usual. We use a breakfast club in term time from 7.30am but are magically supposed to fit around an 8.30 start in holidays? My holiday gets whittled away in one-hour increments accommodating this.

Original poster
ohh · 30/04/2018 14:05

I agree with the until settled at secondary school. I'm hoping to try 6 months part time.

Costs might be a nightmare though.

OP posts:
Luckything50 · 30/04/2018 22:42

I'm so glad someone has raised this in the teen section. It's not the holidays I personally have a problem with (dh in education), it's more a question of how do you cope with the the emotional dramas and support they so often need which means either that you kind of need to be part time to have flexibility, or you can't commit mentally or physically to a 'proper' job because you won't have the energy for them? My experience is that although my peers are getting back into real work, my two are finding these years really hard work, and I'm having to continue in a part time easy role with no pressure so that I can just be around to touch base with them after school and keep them stable if necessary. I think it would be really detrimental if I didn't get back until 6 every night.
How do the rest of you professionals cope? Extended family or just no mental health issues? Or tough love?

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 30/04/2018 22:46

Great question Lucky I have no idea and soon to be in this predicament.

somewhereovertherain · 01/05/2018 06:31

Since ours have been in Secondary we have both worked full time with DDs coming home afterschool. No had any issues, youngest about to go to 6th form.

They did have a couple of afterschool clubs and went to GP on one afternoon.

I think they enjoyed the space and time to do homework and chill.

immortalmarble · 01/05/2018 06:33

I didn’t find many had that many emotional dramas and I was on the other end of a phone if they did.

Original poster
ohh · 01/05/2018 08:10

Hi Luckthing50.

Every time I read a post it makes me think I shouldn't try to get back into the work force.

My DD that is very bright has mental issues due to coercive ex father. My DS has mild educational learning issues.

Eek!

OP posts:
MNscum · 01/05/2018 08:18

My dd was left alone all day in the holidays starting the summer before she started secondary. Four days a week, might have been three days actually. Not ideal but she was ok.

MNscum · 01/05/2018 08:20

She's 17yo now and I've only just gone full time. I did think before that I needed to be part time. Dh used to work from home two days a week which helped.

Original poster
ohh · 03/05/2018 18:16

Ive been typing figures all week into my laptop. Thought ok, looks alright. Then phone call form secondary school, can you come and pick up your daughter please? If I'm at work what would they do??? Send her home alone when the reason they want her at home is because she is mentally fragile?

I think one of us, husband or me have to be part time, even if it is for peanuts. At least then if issues can sort out. Maybe 2 days a week? Work for free effectively.

How do single parents cope when they have pre teens?

OP posts:
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